


Three's A Crowd

by SwanQueenz



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Exotic Dancer, F/F, Inspired by Once Upon a Time (TV), LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Red - Freeform, Regina Mills - Freeform, Stripper, Swan Queen AU, SwanQueenAU, Third - Freeform, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/F, Throuple, Unicorm, alternative universe, emma swan - Freeform, f/f relationship, ruby lucas - Freeform, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:20:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanQueenz/pseuds/SwanQueenz
Summary: Ménage à trois [noun]: an arrangement where three people share sexual relations.When Zelena arranges a stripper for Regina’s birthday, she and her girlfriend Emma get a lot more than they bargained for.(SwanQueen AU)
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Red Riding Hood | Ruby/Emma Swan, RedSwanQueen - Relationship, SwanQueen
Comments: 22
Kudos: 59
Collections: Once Upon A Time Fanfics, SwanQueen fanfiction, Swanqueen





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo again. This is our second attempt at Swan Queen fiction, we hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Unfortunately, this is not based on true events or our personal experience (but it definitely should have been) so this is definitely SwanQueen AU. 
> 
> The main ship is definitely SwanQueen ship but Ruby is too hot to ignore. 
> 
> There are 6 chapters and there'll be a new upload every Wednesday! 
> 
> We'd love to hear what you think so far in the comments. 
> 
> Much love, feel free to follow us on Twitterrr - @daismaslany & @orphanblackish.

******Ménage à trois**

/meɪˌnɑːʒ ɑː ˈtrwʌ/

_noun_

“An arrangement where three people share sexual relations.” 

_  
_ Picture this.  
  
Emma Swan. 28 years old. Long, blonde curly hair and a killer smile. Bail Bondsperson by day, equally as badass by night.  
  
She’s laying on the couch with her legs up on her girlfriend, Regina.  
  
Regina Mills. 34 years old. Short, dark hair and piercing eyes to match. CEO of Red Apple Cider Co. by day, wine drinker by night.  
  
In her left hand is a large glass of red and in her right is the TV remote.  
  
Most loving girlfriends would be giving their partner a foot massage after a long day at work, but not Regina. Instead, Emma’s the annoying type; any need to impress is out the window. She wouldn’t hesitate to shove her smelly feet in Regina’s face to annoy her, and that’s what she does.  
  
“Can you get those wretched feet out of my face, Emma,” Regina asks, or rather, demands.  
  
“I will when you _finally_ decide on something to watch.”  
  
A typical Aries, Emma hates waiting around. Regina reminds her often just how impatient she can be. In contrast, Regina has the patience of a saint (or so she likes to think).  
  
“For the love of god, just relax.”  
  
Emma rolls her eyes and throws her head back. Don’t be misguided, they really do love each other but they aren’t shy to an argument. It could be about what they want to drink, or what they want to eat, or… any thing really. In this scenario it’s what to watch.   
  
“Listen, Mills. If you make me watch another La Casa de _whatever_ , some Spanish show, I swear I’m going to walk out right now. I want to relax and watch something, not feel like I’m back at school again.”  
  
“I don’t think you’d complain if I was your teacher,” Regina replies with a smirk, not even looking at Emma.  
  
Regina’s not wrong. They’re always looking for ways to spice things up, and when it comes to the bedroom they’ll try anything if it means they’ll have a good time. Well, maybe not _anything,_ but let’s not discuss last year's incident. It turns out Emma was wrong when she said anything could double as a dildo if you wanted it to. Cucumbers are definitely off the shopping list these days.  
  
When Emma doesn’t reply, Regina knows she’s right.  
  
“This looks good,” she continues, “it’s about a throuple. Zelena recommends it.”  
  
Of course, how could anyone forget Zelena, Regina’s batshit crazy sister. Raised by her father in England, Zelena may sound like an elegant Brit, but in reality she has none of the class. Zelena may be the older, perhaps more charming, sister but don’t let that fool you - wicked is written into her DNA. Simply put, she is a major pain in Regina’s arse. But of course blood is thicker than water and no matter how insufferable she may be, Regina wouldn’t change her for the world. And it can’t be denied that behind the mass of ginger curls she does have good taste in TV shows.  
  
Emma looks up from her phone and studies the screen.  
  
“You, me, her. Yeah, okay. But only if it’s…”  
  
“Yes, Emma,” Regina cuts in, “it's in English.”  
  
“Parfait,” Emma replies, smirking.  
  
A great example of one of Emma Swan’s habits: trying to be funny. Some might even say, trying _too_ hard.  
  
“That’s French, you _puerco ignorante_.”   
  
This is probably a good time to explain that Regina is half-Spanish on her father's side, though she doesn’t remember living over there. During her childhood she developed a real linguistic talent and she now speaks multiple languages - but swearing is something she only does in Spanish. Much to Emma’s amusement.  
  
Emma knows she’s being insulted, though not exactly how. Since she does not possess this language skill all she knows is that it sounds hot, so she just shrugs her shoulders and focuses on the TV. As always, Regina gets her way and they end up watching half of the first series. It’s not the best thing they’ve watched but, coupled with a whole bottle of wine and Emma’s favourite whiskey, it turns out to be pretty enjoyable. Thought provoking too.  
  
“So,” Emma begins as Regina switches off the TV. “Threesomes. Always wanted one of those.”  
  
“Really?” Regina asks. “You’ve never mentioned that before.”  
  
Neither woman has had a threesome. It’s surprising considering there isn’t much that Emma and Regina haven’t tried. But they’ve never even considered the idea of one - until now.  
  
“Oh c’mon, it would be so hot...” Emma trails off, the corner of her mouth curling upwards.   
  
Regina finishes the last drop of wine in her glass and puts it down on the table.  
  
“I suppose you’re right. But we live in Storybrooke, remember. The chances of a threesome here are second to none, even if we want to.”  
  
Storybrooke is a picture perfect town smack bang in the middle of Maine. Though basically living in a story book provides you with a pretty nice life, Emma finds herself wishing they were back in her hometown of Boston. Not because it’s prettier - Storybrooke can’t be beaten on looks - but they’d have no problem finding a randomer to join them in a vibrant Bostonian bars.   
  
“That’s why Tinder was invented,” Emma jokes, raising one eyebrow.  
  
Well, she’s not joking really. That’s why she takes out her phone and hands it to Regina.  
  
“What, you’re serious?” Regina asks, the pitch of her voice rising in surprise.  
  
“I mean I think it would be hot. But only if you’d want to…? Come on, Mills. I’ve seen you window shopping, you can’t pretend you haven’t thought about another woman in all the years we’ve been together.”  
  
Honestly, Emma isn’t wrong. Regina’s eyes may stray from time to time - she is human after all - but she would never act on it. After her ex-boyfriend Daniel cheated on her, she vowed to never betray someone she loves.  
  
“Of course, I’m not blind. But I don’t want to hurt you Emma, wouldn’t a threesome complicate things?”  
  
“It doesn’t have to,” Emma says reassuringly. “It would be just sex and if one of us became uncomfortable we could stop, no questions asked.”  
  
“I suppose you’re right. I would be up for it, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I use one of _those_ apps,” Regina says with an attitude that makes Emma drop the subject right away.  
  
Luckily Emma and Regina won’t need a Bostonian bar or even a stupid Gen Z app invented for lost souls desperate to find a match. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Regina pushes Emma’s legs off of her, which have been there for _way_ too long, and stands up to stretch. Regina grabs the bottle of wine to finish off in bed before heading upstairs. Emma eventually follows.  
  
Two more things you should know about Storybrooke’s finest lesbian couple. When Emma is drunk she falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. Despite her beauty, it isn’t pretty. Her mouth hangs open catching flies and her limbs spread lifelessly across the bed. Let’s not even mention the drool on their expensive silk sheets. As the ying to Emma’s yang, Regina is the complete opposite. It takes her a while to get to sleep, so she sits up writing a to-do list for her 35th birthday ‘celebration’ next month.  
  
Regina Mills doesn’t do parties, not in the normal sense. She believes parties are reserved for children and underdeveloped brains. She does, however, do celebrations. Over the top, _classy_ events, where real adults enjoy socialising without getting hammered. Though, who does she think she’s kidding? She’s definitely going to get drunk, just in a more sophisticated kind of way - expensive wine drunk, not cheap beer and strong shots drunk.   
  
As she closes her notebook she can hear Emma snoring loudly beside her. She rolls her eyes and reaches for the wine bottle, hoping to extract the final few drops. When she discovers there’s none left she’s disappointed, so slumps back onto her pillow and stares at the ceiling.  
  
“Emma,” Regina whispers, hoping to wake her girlfriend. When she doesn’t even stir, Regina lets out a loud sigh.  
  
“Emma,” she repeats, this time with a growl and quick jab of the elbow against Emma’s arm.  
  
That does the trick.  
  
“What the hell, Regina?” Emma murmurs, squinting through one open eye.  
  
“You _did_ send those invitations out today, right?” Regina asks boldly.  
  
Emma doesn’t reply. She’s still half asleep so doesn’t fully understand.   
  
Instead, she does what she knows best. Emma turns to face Regina, placing one hand sleepily on the waistband of her pyjama shorts. Regina screws up her face and raises her nose away.  
  
“If you think I’m kissing you with that whiskey breath you can think again, Miss Swan. Did you send them or not?”  
  
Emma can hear the stress in Regina’s voice so she finally opens her eyes.  
  
“Oh... I thought you said they needed to be sent out tomorrow?”   
  
And that one sentence is enough to set Regina spiralling into a monologue about how imcompetent her girlfriend can be sometimes.   
  
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention Emma is a great liar and an even better prankster?  
  
It takes her a second but suddenly Regina realises. Without saying a word, she gives Emma a second jab, this time to the ribs.   
  
“Don’t worry Mills, I posted them before my shift this morning. You’re cute when you’re worried though.”  
  
“Remind me again why I am dating such an idiot?” Regina mutters as she turns onto her side, facing away from Emma.  
  
This, naturally, is Emma’s cue to be the big spoon and cuddle up against her.  
  
“Because you love me for it,” she whispers, cheekily kissing Regina's neck before drifting back off to sleep.  
  
Now the scene is set and you know the protagonists of this story it's time to take a jump and skip to the good bit. After all, that’s what you’re here for right?  
  


  
\---  
  


  
It’s February 1st - Regina Mill’s birthday.   
  
At the start of the year Emma had proposed the idea of organising a surprise party for her girlfriend but now that the couple is standing in their living room, which has been transformed into a castle-like ballroom, she feels relieved that her idea was shut down immediately. You see, when Regina had kindly but firmly suggested that she is the ultimate event planner and Emma more the party animal, she wasn’t wrong.   
  
It’s a good job the Swan-Mills house is a huge colonial style mansion on Mifflin Street, the most expensive street in all of Storybrooke. The room is decorated with chandeliers, champagne pyramids, a cocktail bar and, at Emma’s request, a huge chocolate fountain. The guests are slowly starting to arrive when the waiters begin gliding through the room with their trays held above their heads, serving prosecco and entrées.   
  
What does Emma think of this whole charade? Well, she suddenly feels _very_ underdressed as she looks down at her crisp plain white blouse and thin black tie. Thank god Regina had persuaded her to iron it just last night. Truth is though, the beautiful woman attached to her arm makes up for it. Regina is wearing a navy blue V-neck dress that falls down to the ground, covering up her black fuck-me-heels. They’re an essential staple item for any event the couple attends since Regina refuses to be shorter than Emma.  
  
“Well buy me slippers and call me Dorothy,” a voice appears from the hallway.  
  
This, of course, is no one other than Zelena Mills herself (aka, the wicked sister). Her sharp British accent that cuts like a knife, alongside the mass of ginger curls, makes it impossible for her to be missed.   
  
“Well, this is bloody extravagant little sis’,” she practically shouts as she kisses Regina on either cheek.   
  
Regina rolls her eyes so hard they’re basically in the back of her head, but Emma just smiles and raises her hand in a slight wave.   
  
“Gosh don’t you look... _marvelous_ darling,” Zelena says as she scans Emma’s outfit from head to toe.  
  
As I’m sure you can imagine, this doesn’t help to ease Emma’s feelings about her outfit choice - was that a compliment or an insult?   
  
“I’ve always known my sister has a soft spot for the butch type, the suit and tie and all."  
  
Emma has always considered herself to be more on the femme side of the rainbow spectrum. Okay, she’s not all rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers, but she’s not _butch_ either.  
  
After years of dealing with this kind of melodramatic behaviour from her sister, Regina is well and truly used to it. Emma, however, despite being introduced to the Mills family over 5 years ago, still isn’t used to how extraverted Zelena is. All Emma has to do is look at her and she’s exhausted.   
  
The only thing Zelena Mills and Emma Swan have in common is their shared love for alcohol. Both of them will down any liquid they can get their hands on, especially when it is free. This is contrary to Regina, who refuses to drink anything other than her own apple cider or a wine that originates from the south of France and dates back to the 1900’s.  
  
This is why it is no surprise that when Regina trails off to welcome more guests Emma and Zelena head over to the bar. Emma - who hates awkward silence - decides to make an effort to bond with her future sister-in-law.  
  
“Sooooo, we finished that show you recommended to Regina, by the way.”  
  
“The threesome one? Oh of course you did, you _saucy_ devils.”   
  
Ah yes, sex. A great conversation starter.   
  
Trying to hide her embarrassment and the fact that her cheeks are starting to resemble the red apples that fall from the trees in their very own garden, Emma dives into her whiskey.  
  
“I have a nice surprise for your missus tonight and I’m sure you will enjoy it too. You can thank me later,” Zelena winks.  
  
Let’s make it clear that, at this point, Zelena has no idea of what’s about to happen later that night. After the party, that is. It’s not like she’s a psychic who can see into the future or anything - but perhaps she’s good at judging couples and their kinks.  
  
Back to the present and Emma has no idea what Zelena is going on about, she decides that it’s probably best not to know because if it has anything to do with Zelena, it is bound to be trouble. Even so, Emma and her bail bonds person skills can’t ignore the temptation of throwing a few guesses Zelena’s way.  
  
“A car?”  
  
“Don’t be so ridiculous, I know I like to spoil my little sister but…”   
  
Let it be known that this guess is actually not so far fetched as it may seem at first.  
  
“You bought Regina a horse when she was 10 years old.”  
  
“Oh, that was our beloved mother’s idea. Okay, I’ll give you a clue. She’s going to get climbed like a tree.”  
  
Emma takes a moment to think. ‘What the fuck is she talking about?’   
  
“Uhhh… A jeep safari in Africa?”  
  
Now Emma _is_ being ridiculous. Zelena rolls her eyes and sighs.  
  
“Emma dear, Regina might be an animal in the bedroom but I doubt very much that _she_ would want to go to _that_ dusty country.”  
  
“Africa isn’t a… never mind.”  
  
Emma decides to bite her tongue, ignoring the obvious racism and lack in geographic knowledge.  
  
What’s the actual surprise you’re thinking? Well, it’s certainly nothing Emma would’ve guessed in a million years.   
  
It’s not even a thing - it’s a person.  
  
Ruby Lucas. 29 years old. Long, dark hair, dazzling green eyes and a body to die for. Barista by day, Red by night.   
  
She doesn’t arrive until a little after 10pm, but as soon as she does Zelena clears the middle of the room and puts a chair in the centre. She calls for Regina to take a seat and, naively, Regina does as she’s told.  
  
“Zelena, what’re you doing?”   
  
That’s when Regina spots the woman at the side of the room. She’s wearing nothing but underwear and a red cape, and in that moment Regina realises what she’s gotten herself into. For Emma, who’s standing in a corner looking confused, it doesn’t sink in until Zelena grabs the microphone and orders the band to stop playing.  
  
“Ladies and gents, thank you all for being here to celebrate my darling sister's 35th birthday. She may be halfway to 70, but she doesn’t look a day over 40. Owning a company will do that to you. Anyway! Tonight’s surprise isn’t for the faint hearted, but I think all you perverts out there are going to like it.” The room fills with sniggers, to which Zelena adds, “Yes, Gold. I’m looking at you.”  
  
She walks over and grabs the woman's hand, dragging her into the centre of the room so she’s in front of Regina.  
  
“So, without further ado, may I introduce you to Red, who, according to Yelp, is the hottest exotic dancer in the county!”  
  
Yep, that’s right. Zelena Mills hired her little sister a stripper for her 35th birthday.  
  
Of course, fancy pants Regina is horrified and immediately rises out of her seat. She’s ready to kill her sister, slowly and painfully, but she’s soon pushed back down and the cheers from around the room encourage her to stay.  
  
Regina looks towards Emma, anxiously mouthing, ‘what the fuck,’ hoping that her girlfriend will come and rescue her. But when Emma shrugs with a smirk on her face and raises her glass in the air, Regina knows that’s not going to happen.  
  
As Red begins to dance Regina isn’t sure where to look, so she tries to be respectful by settling on her face. That gets harder when Red comes closer and, as soon as Regina finds herself being straddled, she freezes. She looks around the room, all eyes on her. She doesn’t want to be humiliated in her own home, but to be fair everyone is smiling and encouraging her.  
  
She tries to shuffle uncomfortably in her seat, but with a person on top of her that’s hard to do. She coughs awkwardly and considers ordering Red to get off her immediatly. Just as she goes to open her mouth, so does Red, who can clearly sense how Regina is feeling.  
  
“If you want me to stop, I will. If not, just relax,” Red says, her voice low. It sends a shiver through Regina. Red gets closer now - so close that she’s whispering in her ear, “just focus on me.”  
  
Regina closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the fact that another woman whispering in her ear has really turned her on. She smiles slightly and nods, accepting her own fate.   
  
What Zelena wants, Zelena _always_ gets.  
  
And let’s be honest, who doesn’t want a tall, sexy brunette dancing against them. Don’t forget, Regina does like window shopping. And hey, Emma seems to be enjoying seeing another girl getting down and dirty with her girlfriend, so Regina doesn’t need to worry about that. She can tell that Emma is turned on by it - she’s nodding her head to the music, her eyes have grown hungry, and she’s biting her bottom lip.  
  
So Regina starts to relax, and feels herself getting into it. Red grinds in her lap with her arms around her neck, and Regina swears she feels that Red's underwear is wet; clearly the attraction is mutual. Regina may still be appalled by the audience watching her, but she can’t deny that she’s enjoying this, even just a little bit.  
  
As Red nears the end of her act she takes Regina’s hand and guides it to her underwear, motioning for her to take it off. After a nod of approval from Emma, Regina does as she’s instructed. Once Red’s underwear is on the floor she picks it up and places it in Regina’s hand, then steps back and slips off the red cape, revealing the second most gorgeous body Regina has ever seen. The first, of course, is Emma Swan’s.  
  
Though when Emma and Regina reflect on this moment for years to come, Regina won’t admit just how much she liked it.  
  
For the final move Red climbs back on top of Regina and shoves her tits in her face.  
  
Full. On. Motorboating.  
  
Emma, who is completely distracted by the event, hasn’t even realised that Zelena has walked over and is standing right next to her.  
  
“Told you,” Zelena whispers. “Climbing her like a tree.”   
  
Emma rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. And she’s clapping too - she definitely enjoyed that. Seeing her girlfriend with another woman had always been a huge, yet somewhat odd, fantasy for her. It’s a good job Emma’s not the jealous type. Or is she?  
  
“Where did you even find her?” Emma asks, still clapping.  
  
“I know people. But don’t worry, she doesn’t live in Storybrooke. She is a lesbian though,” Zelena states. “Just saying.”  
  
And with that she walks away, clearly pleased with herself. Regina rushes over to Emma looking very flushed. She’s smoothing down her hair and straightening out her dress down. No pun intended.  
  
“Did you know about that?!” Regina questions as soon as she reaches Emma.  
  
“Of course not!” Emma replies, “You know I wouldn’t put you through that. Although… I was surprised to see that you enjoyed it.”  
  
Emma is grinning now, causing Regina to blush further.  
  
“You didn’t mind, did you? I was worried it felt awkward.”  
  
“Regina. It wasn’t awkward at all. I liked watching you enjoying yourself. In fact,” Emma continues, leaning in closer, “seeing you with another woman really turned me on. Besides, why would I mind? It’s not like you’re ever going to see her again.”  
  
Oh, the irony.  
  
And so Regina was relieved. Her sister’s idiotic surprise actually turned out to be pretty good and, although Regina will be the talk of the town for a good while to come, her girlfriend enjoyed it too. Regina won’t admit it, but her sister did good, even if she turned what was basically a Great Gatsby party into the Wolf of Wall Street.  
  
“Red!” Regina shouts, beckoning her dancer over, who’s now changed into a more appropriate attire. “I’d like you to meet Emma Swan.”   
  
By the confused look on Ruby’s face it’s clear she doesn’t understand why Regina feels the need to introduce her to this random stranger. "Please, call me Ruby. Red is my stage name."  
  
“Hi, pleasure to meet you, Ruby” Emma reaches out to shake her hand. “I’m the girlfriend.”   
  
Ruby immediately takes a step back.   
  
“I.. uh.. oh Shit, I didn’t know. I had no idea, I swear-”  
  
Emma shakes her head and laughs, “bloody Zelena. Don’t worry though, it’s all good.”  
  
As you can imagine, Ruby's profession also carries with it a string of jealous ex-girlfriends and current girlfriends. Even envious fuckbuddies, believe it or not. But tonight Ruby is in luck - Emma is very chill in comparison.  
  
Some might even say _too_ chilled.  
  
“Hey, can we get you a drink maybe?” Emma points at the bar.  
  
Regina is quick to step in and correct her girlfriend’s manners, “Emma dear, don’t be stupid, I’m sure Ruby has other people... Uh, clients on her list for this evening.”  
  
Flattered by the gesture Ruby smiles but generously declines. “That’s really kind, thank you. But you’re right, I should get going!”  
  
And with that she leaves both Emma and Regina feeling… Deflated? Disappointed? There is definitely something.  
  
Emma even finds herself wondering how many other people Ruby will be seducing tonight. It’s a Saturday and it’s not even late yet, so Regina can’t be the only one. Emma has absolutely no idea how much an exotic dancer costs, but with a body and moves like that, Ruby must earn a hell of a lot.  
  
As a reader, I’ll let you in on a little secret… Regina is wondering the exact same thing. Great minds think alike, am I right? Of course Regina and Emma hardly know Ruby but they would be lying if they pretended not to be a little intrigued. Even if it is just purely on a superficial basis. Why? Well, it’s pretty simple. Ruby is ridiculously hot. Are Regina and Emma attracted to her? Hell yes. Do either of them have the balls to do something about it? Hell no.   
  
But don’t be disheartened, my friend. If you are wondering when we are going to see our dear three musketeers again you’re in luck, because once the guests start to leave, Ruby returns. Perhaps it would be easiest to tell you that Ruby is attracted to Emma and Regina as well, and that’s why she came back. But nothing is ever _that_ straight forward, is it? One thing is for sure, these three girls are anything _but_ straight.  
  
The hosts of the night are waving goodbye to the last guest when they spot a figure at the end of the drive. Correct, it’s Ruby.   
  
“Hey, are you okay?” Emma asks, genuinely concerned.  
  
Ruby wipes the sleeve of her jacket across her sweaty forehead, she looks exhausted. And god, if the couple hadn’t been attracted to her before, they _definitely_ are now.   
  
“I got two miles down the road and then my car broke down, I didn’t know where to go. I don’t know this area like... at all and my phone's died, so I figured I would run back here. Perhaps you know someone who can fix it?”   
  
Emma gives Regina a questioning look and when she receives a reassuring nod in response she offers, “come inside, we’ll get you that drink after all.” To which Regina quickly adds, “yeah, you look like you need it.”   
  
I’m sure you’ll be pleased to learn that this time Ruby does not decline. So, how does this play out? For now, let’s just say the **three** of them are going to have **some** fun.   
  
All three of them are drunk, all three of them are still turned on by the earlier event and, perhaps most important of all, all three of them are stuck together in the Mills-Swan mansion since the mechanic can’t come look at Ruby’s car until the morning.   
  
“I know, let’s play a drinking game,” Ruby suggests as Regina pulls out a bottle of her favourite wine.  
  
“This is by no means a drink to be chugging like a teenager!” She replies, horrified by such a suggestion.  
  
“Oh come on, Mills. It’ll be fun. You’ve got plenty more where that comes from, anyway.”  
  
Regina looks to her girlfriend who looks gorgeous as ever - even when she’s sloppily drunk - and gives in.  
  
“Fine. But I am 35 now. I don’t know any games.”  
  
“Hmm,” Ruby ponders. “How about truth or dare?”  
  
Regina groans, but Emma cheers. Truth or dare it is.  
  
“Okay, me first,” Emma states. “Regina… I dare you to…. do a handstand.”  
  
“A handstand?!” Ruby repeats. “That’s _boring_.”  
  
“Fine,” Emma replies. After she’s had time to think, she offers her next suggestion. “Regina. I dare you to kiss Ruby.”  
  
Ruby and Regina slowly turn their gazes to Emma. They are both shocked, yet intrigued.  
  
“Come on, it’s a dare. Don’t be a prude all your life, Regina.”  
  
Emma’s hit a nerve and she knows it. Regina loves proving people wrong.   
  
“Are you sure… I don’t want to cause -”  
  
“Fine, easy,” Regina states, cutting Ruby off.  
  
She reaches out and grabs Ruby by the neck before pulling her close. Their lips meet and they begin to kiss. It’s not full on, and Ruby is hesitant at first, but when she relaxes into it, Regina is positive she feels Ruby’s tongue pressing against her lips. It comes as a shock to Regina, but a nice one at that.  
  
“Satisfied?” Regina whispers against Ruby’s lips, not even looking at Emma.  
  
“Extremely,” Emma quickly confirms with a smirk.   
  
Emma looks over to Ruby, who is smiling and biting her lip.  
  
“I know she’s your girlfriend Emma, so like, no offence or anything... But I’ve wanted to do that all night.”   
  
Any other girlfriend might’ve freaked out at this point, but not Emma. She is loving it. I did warn you some say she’s _too_ chilled.  
  
Regina feels flattered, and maybe a little bit smug. And Emma? Well, she’s pretty pleased with herself too. After all, people finding your girlfriend attractive is a compliment, isn’t it?  
  
“No fun that Emma’s the one who gets to watch all this hot lady action.”  
  
Regina sees Emma and Ruby cringe at her drunken choice of words, but she continues anyway.  
  
“So, Emma. I dare you to kiss Ruby. With tongue.”  
  
Emma hesitates. This will be the first time she’s kissed another woman in five years. But she can’t deny that she’s tempted. Plus it’s what Regina wants, so why the hell not?  
  
Ruby is already leaning in and Emma’s lips crash against hers like the Titanic crashing into the iceberg. Except, unlike an iceberg, this is hot - very hot. Regina gets to discover the joy of watching a really hot girl kiss _her_ really hot girl, and it does not disappoint.  
  
As they’re about to pull apart, Regina interrupts.  
  
“Nah-ah. Keep going.”  
  
Doing as they’re told, Ruby and Emma carry on kissing. Emma guides her hand into Ruby’s hair, while Ruby’s hand has found its place on the back of Emma’s neck. Pleasing Regina further, there’s tongue. Lots of tongue.  
  
Before they stop again, Regina gets onto her knees and shuffles closer to the women, so they are kissing right in front of her face. She reaches up and grabs Ruby’s hand, and guides it to the back of her neck instead. Ruby pulls away slightly and smiles, quickly realising what’s happening. It takes Emma a little longer because, after all, this is the first time Emma has ever done anything like this, but she quickly catches on. The three of them are kissing. It’s a tangled mess of hands, hair and lips, but none of them care. Maybe it’s the alcohol, they’ll find out in the morning, but for now all they can focus on is each other.   
  
Just as they are all really getting into it, so much so that it could easily progress further, Ruby pulls away. She wipes her mouth and clears her throat, uneasily.   
  
“I’m not even supposed to be kissing my clients, let alone... anything else.”  
  
Emma glances at Regina, who seems equally as disappointed by Ruby’s statement, before looking over at the clock hanging on the wall.  
  
“I mean, it’s past midnight which means it’s a new day so… technically Regina isn’t your client anymore,” she smirks.  
  
That earns Emma a light jab into the ribs, courtesy of Regina.  
  
“No need to be so rude to our guest dear, we should respect her wishes and-”  
  
Regina is immediately interrupted by Ruby, “oh no trust me, I _want_ this. I just…”  
  
Emma rubs the temple of her forehead, her eyes fixed on the booze laying around them.  
  
“I guess we’ve had enough to drink tonight...” she chuckles.  
  
Regina, being the most responsible one, nods and places her hand carefully on Ruby’s knee. “Don’t worry, this will stay between us. Right, Emma?”   
  
The look Emma receives is stern and controlling and, believe it or not, this is one of the main reasons why Regina turns her on so much. All Emma can do in response is nod and softly mutter, “what happens in Casa Mills, stays in Casa Mills.”  
  
Thanks to these reassurances, Ruby becomes a little less flustered, relief washing over her as she realises that she’s actually met two really cool people tonight. It certainly makes a change from all the perverts she usually deals with on Saturday nights.  
  
Regina, being the hostess with the mostest as well as a total control freak, stands up and offers to show Ruby to a guest room.   
  
“Since the mechanic won’t be able to come until the morning, you must stay here with us tonight.”   
  
Ruby had already insisted she finds a room at the nearest motel but that idea, of course, was shut down imminently.   
  
“Honestly, I can just sleep on the couch. It’s no problem, you don’t need to make up a whole bed just for me,” Ruby compromises.  
  
Emma, who’s an expert on the subject of Regina Mills, laughs out loud.   
  
“Trust me, there are three guest bedrooms in this mansion and all those beds are made up 24/7. Anyone would think we’re running a B&B or something.”  
  
“Okay. Well, thank you. But you should know I don’t make a habit of staying over at my clients houses or, you know… kissing them.”  
  
Ruby glances between Regina and Emma. They both smile knowingly, which puts her at ease.  
  
Ruby follows Regina upstairs and is led to a grand room, decorated with fresh white walls surrounding a huge four poster bed. Ruby can’t quite believe this is just a guest room - it’s nicer than her own bedroom. She thanks Regina and Emma for their hospitality and settles in for the night, feeling somewhat disappointed.  
  
Regina and Emma head to bed too. Once Regina has showered she walks into their bedroom to find Emma still dressed and staring at the ceiling.   
  
Now as I’m sure you can imagine, after tonight’s antics both women are very turned on. Regina is well aware that tonight, thanks to Zelena, one of her girlfriends fantasies has been fulfilled, and she is not going to let this opportunity slip.  
  
“Have you had a good evening, Miss Swan?” Regina’s tone is dark and raspy.  
  
Emma simply nods, her eyes fixed on Regina walking towards to bed slowly.  
  
“I have yeah, but somehow I have a feeling it’s about to get a whole lot better,” Emma smirks.  
  
“Hmm, that depends.”  
  
Another step closer.  
  
“On what?” Emma visibly gulps, her eyes still fixed on Regina.  
  
Being the tease that she is, with every step Regina takes, she lowers the towel more and more.  
  
“Can you be quiet?”   
  
“That depends,” Emma begins mockingly, “if you make me.”  
  
With that said, Regina climbs up onto the bed, kneeling on top of her girlfriend. She grabs Emma’s tie and pulls it so she is forced forwards. Regina slowly slips it from around Emma’s neck, not breaking eye contact. After kissing her lips, Regina carefully forces the tie into Emma’s mouth.  
  
“Will that work?” Regina asks, but it’s a rhetorical question, Emma will do as she’s told.  
  
She moans affirmingly.  
  
Regina leans in closer, so she’s now whispering in Emma’s ear. “Good girl. And if you dare make a sound that wakes up our guest you’ll be punished. Don’t forget these walls are paper thin.”  
  
This is how it always goes: Regina is the dominant one, the initiator. And Emma? Well, she enjoys being a submissive brat. That’s why Emma and Regina stay awake until the sun begins to rise. They enjoy an eclectic blend of slow love making, mixed in with some hard core fucking. It’s passionate and raw, and both women come undone multiple times. As they fall asleep, their bodies entwined, they couldn’t have wished for a better end to Regina’s birthday celebration. Well, perhaps they could, except Ruby was asleep in the other room.  
  
But don’t be disheartened just yet, there are _three_ sides to this story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read so far, there's been some lovely feedback! Please do comment and let us know what you think, and how you think the story should go!

You’re probably expecting the three of them to have breakfast together the next morning. Alas, when Regina puts on her silk dressing gown and heads downstairs, she is greeted by nothing but a bright yellow sticky note stuck to the fridge.  
  
 **_Thanks for the fun night, the mechanic fixed everything so I’m good to go. X Ruby  
  
_ ** Regina’s heart drops for a second, feeling saddened by the fact that their guest has clearly made a run for it. Just as she snaps it off the fridge, ready to throw it into the bin, she notices writing on the other side of the note.  
  
 **_207-369-1113  
  
_ ** Regina isn’t an expert at numbers, believe it or not, but she knows exactly what those 10 digits mean.   
  
She is surprised by the fact that she didn’t hear any movement in the house this morning; since she is such a light sleeper she usually wakes up at the slightest noise. But all the alcohol, combined with the exercise after, has left Regina feeling worse for wear. Her girlfriend, who is still asleep, always has terrible hangovers and the only cure for that is Regina’s apple pancakes.   
  
“Good morning, Miss Swan,” Regina says as she brings Emma breakfast in bed.  
  
“Shit,” Emma rubs her eyes, “what time is it?”  
  
Regina smiles, “twelve minutes past eleven, dear.”  
  
Another one of Regina’s delightful traits, she loves to be infuriatingly specific.   
  
Emma manages to sit up and it only takes her a second to start digging into the homemade pancakes before throwing Regina an awkward smile and mouthing a quick ‘thank you’, despite having a mouth full.   
  
“So, last night was… exciting.”  
  
That earns Regina a satisfied smile from Emma before she continues chewing.  
  
“I cannot believe my sister actually succeeded in giving me a present that wasn’t completely useless and one that I, for the first time ever, actually enjoyed.”   
  
Emma raises an eyebrow, “you did? I wasn’t sure if sobriety would change your mind, you know.”   
  
“I certainly did, didn’t you?”   
  
You see, this is Regina testing out the water before dropping the bomb, since she isn’t _quite_ sure how Emma will take the news. But when she gets a flashback to Emma’s face last night, she is reminded that she probably doesn’t need to worry.  
  
“Oh yeah, a fit girl grinding on top of my girlfriend - what’s not to like? I mean, _maybe_ if I was a jealous person I wouldn’t like it, but we both know I’m not. I’m not like that at all so I actually did and later, when it was just us three without any audience? Yeah, that was fun too,” Emma takes a little pause to catch her breath and take another bite of her pancake. “I mean, perhaps it would’ve been _even_ better if... if she hadn’t stopped us, I guess, but I don’t blame her and I wouldn’t want her to get in any trouble, of course -”   
  
Emma sees the look on Regina’s face and something about it makes her stop talking.  
  
“Oh shit,” Emma sighs, “you regret it, don’t you? Look, I’m not bothered if we never see her again. I’m just saying it was a good night and -”  
  
Before Emma can continue her rant Regina interrupts her.  
  
“She left her number on the refrigerator, Emma.”  
  
Emma freezes.  
  
“She did?”  
  
Regina simply nods.   
  
“But do carry on Miss Swan, you were saying?” Regina’s upper lip rises a little.  
  
Emma quickly shakes her head and swallows hard, “no, screw that. We should call her.”   
  
“Right now?” Regina questions. “Isn’t that a bit keen? We don’t even know her intentions. Maybe she just wants friendship, nothing more.”   
  
“Maybe. But come on, Regina. You and I both know that if we didn’t stop kissing last night it would have gone all the way.”   
  
“Perhaps, yes. But we shouldn’t presume. She did stop the kiss after all.”   
  
“But she _said_ she wanted it. You heard her.”   
  
“She was drunk.”   
  
“So were we. Do you not want to…?”   
  
“I do, Emma. I do. I just don’t want to presume or pressure her.”   
  
And this is how the conversation goes for the next hour. Should we? shouldn’t we? Would she? Wouldn’t she? Sex between Emma and Regina is great, last night proved that, but there’s no harm in experimenting, right?   
  
In the end, Regina makes the decision. They’ll text Ruby and invite her round. They can carefully broach the subject and see how it goes from there. If Ruby doesn’t want to, that’s fine, they’ve made a new friend and the story stops there. But if she does, well… the story will get a whole lot more interesting, don’t you think?

**_Hey, I hope you got home alright._ **

**_Sorry - new phone, who is this?_ **

**_Uh.. Regina and Emma, from last night?_ **

**_I don’t know anyone called Regina or Emma.  
  
_ **Regina throws her phone onto the bed out of frustration, leaving Emma to take over. Thankfully she isn’t as naive as her girlfriend and she knows exactly what Ruby is playing at because she has done it multiple times herself.

**_I’m sure you haven’t forgotten us already, Red._ **

**_I’m sorry, who is Red?  
  
_ **Two can play that game.

**_Just some stripper who seduced my girlfriend last night._ **

**_That sounds like a good night. Lucky you._ **

**_Oh it was. She left this number and we wanted to invite her back round again but I guess it’s a fake then..._ **

**_Lol. Tell me where and when, I'll be there. ;)  
  
_ ** The winky face has both Regina and Emma feeling all sorts of things.  
  
Is she messing them around? Is she serious? Is she just a friend - or more? Does she _really_ want to be their third? All will be revealed soon.

  
  
\---

  
  
What better way to spend your Friday than to be sat on the couch with your significant other, waiting for another woman. To many other couples this may seem absurd but Regina and Emma have never been ones to follow the rulebook. But to be honest, is there even a set of rules for relationships nowadays? Even if there is, they wouldn’t want any part of it. All Emma and Regina know is that they are glad to see Ruby again. A strange combination of nerves and excitement. You know that butterfly feeling in your stomach? Yeah, exactly that.  
  
So when the doorbell goes - a little sooner than expected - they both shoot up.  
  
“Oh, she’s early, that’s impressive. Perhaps she ought to teach you a thing or two, dear.”  
  
Emma quickly flashes Regina the finger as she gets up to answer the door.  
  
Before we continue it is important to note that _she_ isn’t early at all. In fact, it’s not Ruby who is standing at the door with a huge smile plastered on her face.  
  
“Good evening, my scrumptious sister-in-law. Is my itty bitty baby sis’ inside?”  
  
It’s fucking Zelena Mills, who is now officially demoted from expert wingwoman to excruciating cockblocker within a matter of seconds.  
  
Before Emma can even open her mouth Zelena is pushing past her and heads into the living room, all guns blazing. Regina is already taking another sip of her chardonnay, because god knows she’s going to need it to get through whatever the hell this is. Nobody survives Zelena sober - or without prior warning.  
  
“To what do we owe the pleasure of your company tonight?” Regina greets her.  
  
“Oh, I was just in the area and I figured why not swing by and bless you all with my presence on this fine winter's evening.”  
  
“No, seriously Zelena,” Emma chirps in. “No offense but what are you doing here?”  
  
At this Zelena scoffs loudly and launches herself onto the couch.  
  
“Some taken,” she glares at Emma with those poignant, blue eyes. “Must I always have an ulterior motive to be able to pay my little sis’ a visit?”   
  
“No, but a warning would be appreciated,” Emma mutters softly enough to go unnoticed.  
  
“Of course not,” Regina’s tries to settle the atmosphere. “It’s just… we have plans tonight.”  
  
“Well, well, well. What does tonight have in store then for Storybrooke’s Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Or should I say Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor?”   
  
Emma bursts out in laughter, but Regina looks extremely offended.  
  
“I’m not _that_ old _,_ how dare you-”   
  
“Like I’ve said before darling, being a CEO has drastically aged you,” Zelena interrupts.  
  
Before Regina’s head explodes with anger, Emma takes over again.  
  
“We’re just getting a takeaway and watching a film. Our monthly date night, you know.”   
  
“Oh that sounds marvelous, what’re we watching then?” Zelena picks up the remote.  
  
Emma and Regina exchange a ‘fuck, how do we get her to leave’ look, but there is nothing they can do without either being rude or making it extremely obviously that Regina’s sister is not welcome. Remember, what Zelena wants, Zelena gets.   
  
She takes a while flicking through Netflix before finally settling for The Notebook. Any other day Regina would be proud of her sister’s taste in modern classics, but not tonight.  
  
Then, ten minutes into the film, the doorbell rings.   
  
“Oh you lovebirds stay seated, I’ll go and fetch the supper.”   
  
Regina and Emma shout, “NO!” in unison but nothing can stop a bull in a china shop.  
  
Zelena flings opens the door, only to find herself standing face to face with Ruby Lucas. Not quite the pubescent pizza delivery guy she was expecting. By this point, Emma and Regina have shot up and are nervously standing in the door frame that connects the living room to the hallway.  
  
“Oh, hi, Zelena,” Ruby says innocently.  
  
Zelena turns around, her jaw practically on the floor as she stares at the couple.  
  
“You absolute _dogs_ ,” she snorts. “So _this_ is what you’re eating for dinner tonight? I knew it, I could’ve bet good money on that.”  
  
Regina shakes her head, “knock it off sis’, this isn’t what it looks like.”   
  
“It certainly looks like you won’t be asking for the receipt of your birthday present any time soon.” Zelena winks before pointing at Emma. “I told you you’d thank me eventually. I mean, it was bound to happen, lesbihonest.”  
  
Zelena grabs Ruby’s arm and pulls her inside and closes the door, rescuing her from the cold.  
  
“So, is this like a threesome, polygamy or like some kind of vagina festival? Whatever you want to call it sis’, I’m happy for you.”  
  
Then Zelena looks at Ruby once again, “I guess this means I should be giving you a five star review on Yelp.”   
  
“All this is,” Regina firmly grits through her teeth, “is a sure sign for _you_ to _leave_ . Now.”   
  
Regina yanks Zelena by her arm, placing the other firmly on her sister’s back as she escorts her out onto the patio.  
  
“Righteo’ sis’, I expect a full briefing next time! Ta ta, lesbinistas”  
  
As Regina slams the door shut, she leans her back against it and lets out a huge sigh of relief that _that_ is over.   
  
“Wow…” Ruby smiles softly, “your sister is a piece of work.”  
  
Regina rolls her eyes as if to say ‘tell me about it’ and ‘try living with it for 35 years’.  
  
“Yeah, sorry about her,” Emma apologises before Regina suggests moving to the kitchen to pour some drinks.   
  


  
\---  
  


  
1\. Neither Emma or Regina can spend time alone with Ruby.   
  
2\. Ruby can only ever text Emma and Regina in the WhatsApp group, never alone.   
  
3\. If any of them catch feelings they are honest about it and stop immediately.  
  
  
What is this, you may wonder. Remember that rulebook for standard relationships mentioned earlier? Well, Regina, Emma and Ruby are making their own.   
  
“Zelena obviously knows. She might have a big mouth, but she can be trusted. So that leads me to rule number 4: this doesn’t leave these four walls. Ever,” Regina says firmly.  
  
Both women sitting opposite her nod and then Emma chuckles, “ahhh, so we’re basically starting our own Fight Club?”  
  
Ruby laughs but Regina just looks puzzled and shrugs her shoulders delicately.   
  
“Oh c’mon, the first rule of Fight Club… You do not talk about Fight Club.”   
  
“Hmm,” Regina huffs, totally unamused, “Can’t say I have ever seen _that_.”   
  
“You haven’t missed much to be honest,” Ruby reassures her, “except for the undeniably handsome Brad Pitt, of course.”   
  
You may be shocked by this heteronormative twist of events, but perhaps now is a good time to explain that Ruby and Emma are bisexual, whereas Regina identifies as a lesbian nowadays. Remember Daniel, the ex who cheated on her and made her vow to never be unfaithful? Well, another vow she made that day was to never fall for a guy, like _ever,_ again. Teenage Regina might have been naive or too ambitious, but until this day she has stuck to that promise she made herself. So much so that some might as well start referring to her as a gold star lesbian.  
  
“Do you think we need some kind of safe word?” Ruby asks, totally casual.   
  
“Oh, so it’s going to be like that, is it?” Emma replies playfully.  
  
The flirting is already in full swing. Emma smirks and looks towards Regina, whose raised eyebrows and pursed lips suggest she’s very interested. The couple definitely aren’t opposed to things getting a little rough - they actually have a safe word of their own already - but they’ll need a new one now. The thought sends a shiver down Emma’s spine, and all the heat rushes to her core. They haven’t even made it to the bedroom yet but she’s already very turned on.  
  
“No one likes vanilla sex, Emma,” Ruby states, winking.  
  
After seeing Ruby’s dance moves the women know that Ruby definitely isn’t vanilla.   
  
“Okay, how about unicorn?” Regina suggests.   
  
You might be wondering ‘why unicorn?’ Well, here’s how Urban Dictionary defines the word: ‘unicorn refers to a third party female who joins another couple in bed for their sexual escapades'.  
  
Emma is impressed by her girlfriend’s knowledge of sexual terms, so she reaches down and squeezes Regina’s knee. “Perfect.”   
  
Having determined most of the rules and regulations, there’s only one big ass elephant left in the room to address.  
  
“So like…” Emma hesitates before gesturing a line between her and Regina, “what happens to us?”  
  
But before the conversation even has a chance to become slightly awkward, Ruby steps in.  
  
“Of course, you two need to continue together as normal. I’m not asking for some kind of throuple situation, just a bit of fun. I’ll still be working and seeing other people. Agreed?”   
  
This can also be seen as Ruby’s way of saying that she won’t be considering Emma and Regina as clients and that she certainly won’t be charging them. Clients have to undergo a background check as well as be registered into Ruby’s administration. But Ruby would rather skip all this fuss, she’s met the women and she knows they are both totally innocent, not dirty old men who are up to no good. Basically, this is Ruby’s freelance work in which the only remuneration is pure fun.   
  
“Agreed,” Emma and Regina state in unison.   
  
“But you’ll be safe, right? With other people, I mean. I don’t -”   
  
“Don’t worry Regina,” Ruby cuts in, amused. “There’ll be no infections.”   
  
Emma giggles to herself. Of course Regina doesn’t want a repeat of the cucumber incident. Oh wait, we weren’t going to mention that, were we?  
  
“And lastly,” Emma turns serious. “Are we all sure? I mean, we can back out at any point but we all want this, yes?”  
  
Ruby raises her glass. “I do.”   
  
Regina follows. “Me too.”   
  
Finally Emma raises her drink too and they clink their glasses together. “Me three.”   
  
Perhaps they should have toasted to Zelena. After all, if she hadn’t suggested watching You, Me, Her to Regina, she and Emma would have never watched it. If they hadn't watched it, they wouldn’t have decided they both want a threesome. Further, if Zelena hadn’t hired an exotic dancer for Regina’s birthday celebration, they wouldn’t have met Ruby. For once in her life, Zelena has made herself useful.   
  
To make matters less complicated - and since Ruby only has Monday nights off - the three of them decide to schedule their …. _whatever_ it is, for the same day every week, much to the satisfaction of Regina Mills’ OCD tendencies.  
  


  
\---  
  
  


The weekend comes and goes quicker than you can say ‘ménage à trois’. With a new week also comes a new sense of dread (and excitement) for Emma and Regina.   
  
“For god sake, will you just sit down for _one_ second?” Emma leans back into the couch as she stares at Regina, who is frantically pacing up and down their living room.   
  
“If I didn’t know better, Miss Swan, judging by your calm attitude about this very peculiar situation, I’d say this wasn’t your first… you know,” Regina glides her hand through her perfectly washed and straightened hair.  
  
Emma had been on the verge of making a gay comment when she first saw it, but quickly decided against when it became clear to her how nervous her other half is about this rendez-vous. Instead, she gestures calmly on the empty seat next to her as an invitation. Against her natural instincts, Regina does as she’s told.  
  
“It’s just fun, remember, I don’t want you to feel any pressure or anything,” Emma smiles.  
  
“What gives you the impression that I’m not okay with this?” Regina tries to stand her ground.   
  
“The fact that you avoid saying the word ‘threesome’ like it’s covid, and for the most part of today you have been sitting at your desk biting your nails.”  
  
Regina pulls her ‘how dare you’ face, which she always does when accused of something that doesn’t scream ‘I’m ridiculously rich’ or ‘very powerful’. When they first started dating Emma saw this as a potential red flag but quickly came to learn that it’s one of her most endearing habits.  
  
“You know how much I dislike being out of my comfort zone and well, I can’t say I have done _anything_ like this before, but that doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to it.”  
  
Emma offers her another reassuring smile.  
  
“So am I. Seeing you with a woman as gorgeous as Ruby is...? Yeah, that’s what fantasies are made of,” Emma leans into Regina and kisses her cheek. “You remember the rules yeah?”  
  
Regina smirks, “When have I _ever_ forgotten anything, _Em-ma_ ?”   
  
The way Regina says Emma’s name is enough for her to start fucking her right there and then.  
  
“Let’s get one thing _straight_ , my memory skills are better than yours, Miss Mills.”  
  
Regina cringes at the implied pun so then replies, “it seems like tonight is going to be anything _but_ straight, dear.”   
  
Regina Mills couldn’t be more right about that. But then again, when is she ever wrong?  
  
A knock on the door breaks their banter, and Emma eagerly rises to answer it. Regina takes a deep anticipatory breath, but makes sure to check out her girlfriend's ass as she’s walking out of the room.   
  
What do you wear to your first sexual encounter as a third? Apparently the answer is fairly simple for Ruby as she’s standing in the doorway wearing a short long sleeved dress with _just_ the right amount of cleavage. What Regina and Emma don’t know is that it had taken Ruby the best part of two hours before she decided to go with this particular outfit. Luckily, judging by the gaping mouths and wandering eyes by both Emma and Regina, she’s made the right choice.  
  
“You look...” Emma begins but Regina finishes the sentence for her with a complimentary, “stunning.”   
  
Ruby gives them a warm smile. It’s obvious that she doesn’t feel out of her depth as much as the two people in front of her. She walks inside and lets Regina take her coat for her   
  
Emma places her hands awkwardly on her hips, swaying from side to side and biting on her lower lip. Make no mistake, Regina is just as nervous but years of presenting as a CEO has made her a pro at hiding those nerves.  
  
“Sooooo, what happens now?” Emma asks with a sparkle in her eyes.  
  
Ruby laughs and places a hand on her shoulder, “eager, are we?”   
  
At the slight touch Emma freezes and she immediately checks if Regina is okay with this. It is still new and all, but when she sees the smirk on her girlfriend’s face all doubts vanish.  
  
Emma looks at Ruby, her chest area to be more specific, “can you blame me when you show up looking like _that_ ?”  
  
When Ruby takes a step closer, Emma can smell her perfume and the scent of vanilla practically pulls her in for that first kiss.   
  
“Perhaps you’ll also like what I’m wearing underneath this,” Ruby says as she straightens her arm out and drags Regina into it as well. She takes a hold of Regina’s hand and guides it to the hem of her dress. Not needing any further instructions, Regina slowly pulls the dress up towards Ruby’s hips desperate for her fingers to meet the fabric of her underwear.  
  
“Surprise, surprise,” Ruby whispers in Regina’s ear as she discovers she is not actually wearing underwear.   
  
Emma takes a step back to see what’s going on before muttering, “fuck me.”   
  
And fuck her they shall.   
  
The ménage à trois continues until the early hours of the morning, ensuring that each woman climaxes at least twice. As Regina and Emma curl up together and fall asleep, a position that is obviously a habit for them now, Ruby slips away into the night. It isn’t until Regina twitches in her sleep that Emma wakes up and realises that Ruby has gone. But she doesn’t take offense - they all know the deal - so she settles back into her position as the big spoon and falls asleep listening to the rhythm of her girlfriends breathing.  
  


  
\---   
  
  


If you’ve ever contemplated what a morning after a threesome looks like you’re in for a treat. For Emma and Regina it goes a little like this.   
  
Regina wakes up first, as you’d expect. She shuffles her way out of Emma’s arms, feeling a little bit disgusted by the drool on her shoulder. Then she remembers what happened between them last night and considers that a little bit of drool is nothing. Regina props herself up onto her elbows and takes a deep breath, trying to figure out whether last night was real or just a really hot dream. She leans to the side and reaches out to hit the button that raises the blackout blinds, only to be greeted by Emma’s lacy black thong hanging off of it. Definitely not just a dream.   
  
As the blinds rise they not only reveal the bright morning sun, but the mess of the room surrounding them. There are clothes strewn around everywhere, pillows and blankets on the floor that were forcefully pushed off the bed and, much to Regina’s amusement, their collection of sex toys scattered around the room.   
  
Regina delicately slips her legs out of the side of the bed, stretching well after last night's work out. Mornings are chilly in Storybrooke so she grabs one of her silk dressing gowns as she walks into the ensuite to clean herself up. When she walks back into the bedroom Emma is still asleep, rolled onto her back with her limbs spread out and mouth, of course, wide open. Regina smiles. She loves this version of Emma as much as she loves the Emma of last night.   
  
Regina begins picking up the clothes from the floor and placing them into the laundry basket. Normally Regina would wake Emma up so that she could pick up the blankets and pillows and make the bed, but she decides to let her girlfriend sleep a little longer. She definitely deserves it after the work she put in last night.   
  
Finally, Regina begins picking up the toys that they had left out. There was a pair of handcuffs, a whip and a blindfold, as well as a mix of vibrators and dildos that now need to be cleaned. Thank god they have two dishwashers.   
  
Regina hears Emma stir behind her, so she turns and sits on the bed. As Emma slowly wakes up, Regina gently strokes her hair.   
  
“Good morning, love. Sleep okay?”   
  
“Like a baby,” Emma replies groggily.   
  
“After last night I’m not surprised.” They both laugh and Regina leans down to give Emma a morning kiss.   
  
“Do you want waffles for breakfast? I don’t need to go into the office until this afternoon.”   
  
Emma doesn’t reply but smiles and nods with her head still on the pillow, so Regina leaves her to wake up slowly and walks down stairs, box of dirty toys in hand. As she reaches the bottom of the stairs Regina spots her phone on the console, where it had swiftly been placed the night before when things got hot and heavy with Ruby.   
  
Regina anticipates there will be a few texts from work colleagues, probably accompanied by a few dozen emails. The first notification Regina sees, however, isn’t work related at all. It is Ruby.   
  
Now, Regina has to make a choice. Does she wait for Emma to come down so they can read the text together, or does she just read it on her own? She chooses the latter. After all, Emma will have the text on her phone too, as per the second rule.   
  
**_Morning. Thanks for last night, I really enjoyed it, even if I am super sore. Same time next week ;) x  
  
_ ** Regina smiles at the screen, drafting a reply in her head as Emma walks through the door.   
  
“What are you smiling at?”   
  
Knowing that Emma always has her phone to hand Regina simply replies, “check WhatsApp.”   
  
Emma does as she’s instructed and soon she’s smiling too. The couple exchange a glance. They don’t say anything yet but the look speaks a thousand words.   
  
“I assume that look means you’re still satisfied with the terms of our agreement,” Regina probes.  
  
“Am I happy to carry on with it?” Emma simplifies, “hell yes.”   
  
Regina nods as she starts getting out the ingredients for her apple waffles. As if it’s second nature to them, Emma turns on the coffee machine and prepares two drinks while Regina plays a soft, innocent and idyllic domestic housewife.   
  
What a 180 degrees transformation from just hours ago.  
  
“You’re not doing any of this just to prove something to me, are you?” Emma asks after a moment of silence.  
  
“Hmm?” Regina hums casually as she adds the flour and sugar into the mixing bowl in front of her.  
  
“Obviously you will never hear me complaining about your waffles but I just mean…like...” Emma hesitates, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to put more effort into _us_ just because of this deal with Ruby. You and I will continue to be the same, no matter what. You know that, right?”   
  
You see, the thing is Emma knows in her heart of hearts that she is the most adventurous one out of two and she just wants to be certain that Regina is 100% into whatever it is they’re doing. Similarly, Regina feels the same way about wanting to reassure Emma and that is why she is about to wear her heart on her sleeve. Something she usually only saves for _special_ occasions. Of course one could argue that last night was very special indeed.  
  
“Emma,” Regina makes her way over to where she is sitting on the barstool and folds her arm around her hip, embracing her.  
  
“We’re on the same page. You don’t have to worry, I think last night made it abundantly clear that I _really_ enjoyed it and I am definitely intrigued for more. But there is also something else that became extremely clear to me… and quite frankly, I didn’t know it was possible, I wasn’t expecting it at all.”  
  
A pause. Regina now lays her hand on top of Emma’s.  
  
“I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s almost as if last night has made me fall even deeper in love with you than I already was.”  
  
Regina gives Emma her almost puppy dog-like eyes, as if she is begging for her other half to feel the same because _heck,_ if the CEO of Red Apple Cider Co. is going to allow herself to become vulnerable, it better be reciprocated. You’ll be pleased to know that the look Emma gives in return is a big fat confirmation of those exact same feelings.  
  
“I know exactly what you mean,” Emma nods, “I feel it too. It’s crazy, it’s like I’m discovering a new side of you and it’s really exciting.”  
  
“Am I supposed to take from that, that in your opinion, we were starting to become… vanilla?” Regina suggests, in only a _slightly_ offended tone as she takes a step back.  
  
“Never,” Emma quickly saves herself, “but it just feels fresh and it’s like a new adventure and there is no one I would rather share it with than you, Miss Mills. I have no idea what’s going to happen or how it’s going to go and I don’t really care. As long as I am doing it with you I know it’s always going to be okay.”   
  
“Oh, I would argue last night was more than just _okay,”_ Regina mocks.   
  
“Hmm, I guess we will have to find out won’t we?” Emma tangles her legs around Regina’s waist and pulls her in closer.  
  
And that, ladies and gentleman, is how the pair ends up locking lips for a solid 8 minutes until the kitchen starts to fill with smoke and the overwhelming odor of crispy burnt apple waffles eventually breaks them apart.  
  
“ _Mierda,_ ” Regina stresses as she quickly tries to save whatever she can. But alas, the waffles look more like a burnt mess than a soft fluffy cloud.   
  
“Granny’s?” Emma chuckles, trying to control her laughter at how cute her girlfriend is when she gets angry at overcooked baking mixture.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

It’s time to take a step into the future, or more like a leap, if you will.   
  
The next few weeks continue very much the same: the women meet up on Monday’s and try lots and lots of new stuff. Everything is going smoothly and it all seems a little too good to be true, doesn’t it? Correct - and things are about to change. It all begins when Regina offers to give Ruby a lift home one Monday night.  
  
“Are you sure? I don’t want to trouble you,” Ruby asks as she pulls her jumper back over her head.  
  
“Absolutely, it’s only a short drive,” Regina points at Emma who is sprawled out in bed, fast asleep after their latest intense workout. “She won’t even notice I’m gone.”   
  
Ruby chuckles before turning serious again, “you know the rules though… no one spends time alone with me without the other being present too. It’s been five weeks and everything is going great. Mainly because we are sticking to the rules.”   
  
Regina shrugs her shoulders as she too gets up and puts her clothes back on. “Ruby, trust me. You already paid for a cab to get here, I will not allow you to pay for one home too.”   
  
This earns Regina a smile and Ruby quickly heads to clean up in the bathroom before leaving. When Regina is finished getting dressed she leans over to Emma’s side of the bed and kisses her on the forehead before whispering, “I’ll be back soon, love.”   
  
Emma stirs at the noise and Regina takes that as a confirmation that she has been heard - something she is going to come to regret very, very soon.  
  
And that is how both women end up by themselves driving down the freeway. The radio is on and there isn’t much dialogue, they are too exhausted by tonight’s activities to engage in a deep conversation.   
  
Maine is known for being cold in March, so it’s only a little over zero. Adding to this it’s the middle of the night, so Ruby is freezing. Noticing the woman shivering beside her, Regina turns on the heat. But as the engine hasn’t warmed up just yet, the air blasting towards them isn’t really helping much. Ruby rubs her hands together to try and generate some heat then proceeds to do the same thing to her arms, wrapping herself in a hug.    
  
This is the usual thing someone does when they’re cold, yes? It’s a clever thing to do, granted. But what’s not clever is one of her rings slipping down her finger and into the side of the passenger door. What’s worse is that Ruby doesn’t even realise - she’s too focused on trying to warm up. Plus, her thoughts are still tangled up by this evening’s catch up.   
  
As the car starts to warm, the women begin to relax. Ruby doesn’t like silence, so she decides to break it by getting to know Regina, and in turn Emma, more.    
  
“So,” she begins. “How long have you and Emma been together? You’re adorable, by the way.”   
  
Adorable isn’t a word Regina likes being called. She thinks it denotes weakness, but she lets it slide this one time.    
  
“Thanks, I guess. We met five years ago. It’s a funny story, actually.”    
  
“Oh yeah? Do tell.”    
  
“Well, you know how Emma is a bail bondsperson? She often has to find someone without knowing their name. She only receives a vague description of what the criminal looks like and the location where she will track them down. And of course, knowing my luck, someone was trying to embezzle my company. So one morning I was just minding my own business and grabbing a cup of coffee before heading into my office and suddenly I was ambushed by this tall blond figure who thought  _ I _ was the one she was after.”  
  
Let it be known that if Emma had been the one telling Ruby the story of how they met, she would’ve convinced everyone that Regina matched the description of her target perfectly and that Regina was actually the one who got into Emma’s business that morning. There are always two sides to every story.  
  
“Awwwww,” Ruby places her hands on her heart. “That is so cute! It sounds like it would be my favourite rom-com for sure. It was love at first sight, I bet?”   
  
At this, Regina can’t help but scoff before continuing. “Not quite, I’m afraid. Whilst she tackled me down to the floor I hit my head pretty hard on the concrete steps that were in front of us and it virtually split open my head. So, Emma being the gentle...lady that she is took me to Storybrooke Hospital where the doctors had to give me eight stitches to stop the bleeding and let it heal properly.   
  
“Oh no,” Ruby says, now fully engrossed, like she is a little kid again listening to a bedtime story, “I bet Emma felt so bad after that!”  
  
Regina nods as she remembers that day just like it was yesterday. “She did, yeah. She offered to buy me a drink to make it up to me but… I was hurt, my head - but also my ego - since I was wrestled to the floor in front of everyone in the office’s canteen. But thankfully Miss Swan doesn’t know how to give up or let something go, so after countless invitations I finally accepted to go on a date with her and here we are, five year later.”  
  
Five years in, with a hot new member added to the equation. What more could a woman want, right?  
  
“Ha,” Ruby laughs, “so you could say Emma  _ literally  _ swept you off your feet at your first encounter. That sounds like a perfect fairytale.”  
  
“Yes, you could call it that,” Regina smiles. “I guess her chasing after me paid off in the end.”   
  
“And look at you both now, she’s still wrestling you but just in a different kind of way, huh?” Ruby winks and Regina visibly cringes in her seat.  
  
So whilst our sleeping - not so - beauty is still cuddled up in her comforter at home, Regina gets to know Ruby a little better before safely dropping her off at home and returning to her favourite place. Her bed,  _ obviously.  
  
_ The next morning Emma wakes before Regina and heads downstairs to make a pot of strong coffee before heading to work. She’s got a particularly tricky case today, so she needs all the dopamine she can get. Just as Emma is done drinking, Regina walks downstairs and greets her with a kiss.    
  
“My, oh my, Miss Mills.”    
  
Regina is wearing a particularly skimpy nightgown which slows a lot of leg, and  _ a lot _ of breast.    
  
“Come any closer to me looking like that and I won’t make it to work on time.”    
  
“Well, I’m working from home today so that wouldn't be a bad thing…” Regina says, stepping forward hopefully. Emma steps back, holding up her hands - though not taking her eyes off of Regina’s body. She’s not blind.    
  
“Not today, babe. Got a good lead on a case and I need to get into the office to go over the new intel.”    
  
“Be careful please, my love. And make sure you don’t tackle the wrong person.” Emma laughs. Five years on and Regina  _ still _ hasn’t let that one go. It’s probable that she never will.    
  
“Why? It turned out pretty well last time.” They smile at each other. “Can I take your car, though? The bug doesn’t like this weather and I can’t risk sliding off the road while I’m mid chase.”    
  
“Only if you promise to be safe.” Regina reaches out and grabs the car keys from the nearby bowl before tossing them to Emma.    
  
“With the car or myself?”   
  
“The car. Obviously.”    
  
Emma sticks her tongue out at Regina and blows her a kiss before leaving. As she’s walking out she smiles to herself, thinking about how happy she is. Back inside, Regina is thinking the exact same thing. If only they knew that the proverbial shit is about to hit the proverbial fan.   
  
There are two types of people in the world, you see. The ones that believe in innocence until proven guilty and may also be seen as naive sometimes, and the pessimistic ones who presume the worst of everyone simply because they have been hurt in the past. For what is about to happen next it is important to know that Emma is and always has been type number one. Her core belief is hope and, thanks to her job, she has learnt to look at the bigger picture before jumping to any kind of conclusions, because nothing is never as it seems.  
  
And so when Emma reaches over into the passenger side of the car to find a de-icer to clear the window with, and eventually spots a ring, she does her best to rationalize the situation. Sure, it’s strange because Emma is pretty sure that she knows everything there is to know about the CEO of Red Apple Cider Co. But then, Regina is like a magpie and she is attracted to any shiny object, which is why it also doesn’t surprise Emma that she doesn’t recognize this particular ring. Has she ever seen it before? Unsure, but deciding that it’s probably nothing, she heads to work as normal.  
  
She arrives at the address of The Rabbit Hole Coffeehouse and shoves the ring into the inside pocket of her red leather jacket before heading inside. As if one surprise isn’t enough, upon entry, Emma is greeted by another surprise. This one, in reality, should be a lot more welcome since she enjoys Ruby’s company at the best of times, but right now it is definitely something she could do without. She just prays that Ruby doesn’t see her.  
  
Trying to stay focused on the task at hand, Emma takes a place in one of the booths at the front, constantly keeping her eye out for the man she is supposed to arrest today. The description was pretty clear - dwarf size, larger than average, a round head shaped like an egg and a bit of stubble. She doesn’t know his real name, but some evidence suggests he goes by ‘Leroy’.   
  
Emma is so distracted by her thoughts that she doesn’t even notice Ruby approaching. She is now standing directly in front of Emma with a pen and notepad in hand. She is wearing a black v-neck t-shirt and a red apron with logos that match the one situated on the outside of the coffeehouse.  
  
You see, Emma and Regina knew she was a barista, but somehow Ruy had failed to mention that she works at the one  _ just  _ over the town’s border.  
  
“Hi Emma!” Ruby says loudly. She sounds excited and mildly resembles a hyper puppy, causing the customers nearby to turn and look. “Fancy seeing you here.”  
  
Great, so much for being able to work on today’s case discreetly.  
  
Emma gives her a look that screams ‘please don’t do this right now’ as she replies, “yeah, can I just have a hot cocoa please. With cinnamon on top.”  
  
Confused by the lack of recognition and usual friendliness, Ruby leans closer into Emma. “Hey Em, it’s me, Ruby. Ruby Lucas… I know you’re not used to seeing me in clothes but -”  
  
“I know it's you, Ruby. I'm just busy, not blind,” Emma replies curtly.   
  
“Uhm, rude… Are you okay? What’s up?”  
  
“Shhh,” Emma hisses, “just pretend I’m not here, alright?”  
  
“Oh,” Ruby sighs as she backs up a little, “surely this isn’t breaking the rules? Just because we happen to be at the same place at the same time...”  
  
“It’s not about the rules, Ruby. I’m here for work.”  
  
Clearly not receiving the message to leave her alone, Ruby takes a seat across the table. Emma growls quietly in frustration. She’s supposed to be keeping a low profile, but being talked to by the hot barista is enough to draw attention.   
  
“Okay good, because Regina really doesn’t seem to worry much about the rules you know. Even yesterday when she offered to drive-”  
  
“Shit. That’s him,” Emma interrupts Ruby mid sentence and turns her head to stare at the figure who’s just snuck out of the toilets and is headed towards the front door. Emma had looked at a map of the building before coming and noticed it only had one door, so it should,  _ in theory _ , be an easy job.    
  
She had it all planned out. Sit as close as she can to the door and wait there until she sees Leroy enter the building. She would then wait a little while - give him some time to relax and let his guard down. As soon as he got up to leave, Emma would intercept him and the job was done. But alas, she certainly didn’t anticipate that her fuckbuddy would be there to distract her.    
  
Leroy is sprinting towards the door - he’s clearly been given some intel that Emma is in the building. Emma stands up as quick as she can and launches herself out of the booth. On second thought, she should have sat at a table with normal chairs, since the position of the seats and table are restricting her movement. Time is precious, and she shouldn’t be spending it awkwardly standing with her knees bent shuffling out of the booth. But there’s no time to think about that now. Leroy is just metres from leaving.    
  
Emma picks up her pace and sprints for the door, not giving any attention to surroundings. Leroy is reaching for the door, and Emma is reaching for Leroy. She almost has him, but then… an oblivious, overweight man in a stupid red cap stands up, backing his chair into Emma. She stumbles to the side, almost losing her balance, giving her target an extra few seconds to get away.    
  
Emma balances herself and rushes through the door, desperate to stop her prey, but it’s too late. Those few seconds were enough for Leroy to jump into a blacked out Range Rover Sport and speed away over the ice. For a split second Emma considers jumping into Regina’s car and giving chase but she knows there’s no point. There’s no way she can catch up with him now.  
  
Still totally oblivious to what’s happening, Ruby has followed Emma out of the Rabbit Hole. Emma throws her head back, defeated.   
  
“Fuck! I was  _ this  _ close. It would have been the biggest case of my career. Shit. Shit.  _ Shit. _ ”    
  
Ruby pauses, a confused look clouding her face. She looks at Emma then back down the road, where the car once was. It takes her a second, but she soon catches on.  
  
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry Emma, I didn’t realize you were doing your like... Undercover Thing.”   
  
“Bail Bondsperson, Ruby,” Emma corrects her as she heads inside and takes a seat at the bar.  
  
Feeling guilty as hell, Ruby looks down to the ground sheepishly, “is there anything I... can do?”  
  
Emma had been trying to catch the same lead for over three months now so yeah, she’s pretty deflated by the whole thing. She simply shakes her head and places it in her hands.  
  
“I shouldn’t have been distracting you,” Ruby sighs. “Do you have any idea where he is going to go next? You know, any clues or anything.”  
  
Still annoyed, but grateful for the fact that Ruby is making an effort to salvage things, Emma finally makes eye contact with her. “I’ll have to head back to the office and see if there is any footage from around this area that we could use to track his car. I did manage to see the license plate, thankfully.”  
  
“That sounds… complicated,” Ruby says, “and all my fault. You would’ve caught him today if it wasn’t for my stupid ass.”   
  
This little innuendo makes Emma laugh to herself.  
  
“Okay first of all, your ass isn’t stupid. In fact, it’s pretty great,” Emma smiles. “And secondly, don’t worry about it, I’ll get him the next time. The chase is all part of the fun, right?”   
  
Still not being able to shake the feeling that she’s the reason behind Emma’s failed attempt at catching her guy today, Ruby makes her hot cocoa with  _ extra _ cinnamon and offers it to her on the house.   
  
Forgetting all about the drama, both women end up in lighthearted conversation as they share a drink together during Ruby’s lunch break. Not wanting to be the first to break any of their set rules, Emma grabs her phone out of her back pocket and starts typing.  
  
“I’m just going to let Regina know I’m with you and that I’ll be home soon.”  
  
“Oh, while you’re at it, could you ask her if she’s maybe seen my ring somewhere? I can’t find it anywhere and I’m pretty sure the last place I remember having it was at yours on Monday but you know… we tend to throw things all over the place and god knows where it is now.”  
  
And that my friends is red flag number two for Emma Swan, who, since only this morning, suspects her girlfriend's infidelity.   
  
So, what would you do this at this point? Or perhaps more importantly - what does Emma do? She drives back home with all sorts of doubts running wild through her head. Emma thinks hard: the last time Ruby remembers having the ring was Monday night, and Emma found it the next morning in Regina’s car. So they’ve clearly been alone together in the car. Okay it breaks the first rule but it’s not the end of the world, is it?    
  
But why would her ring be in the passenger door? Emma suddenly has a flashback of the times she, Ruby and Regina have slept together. Her mind zones in on the ring. It makes her feel sick, and she’s so distracted that she almost runs a red light. Thankfully she stops quick enough, and it gives her time to think.    
  
Every time they start hooking up, Ruby reaches down and takes her ring off because, without being crude, it’s easier to finger someone without one on; Ruby does this every time without fail. And if she’s taken her ring off in the car, when she was alone with Regina, that must mean...  
  
Emma isn’t a religious person at all, but at this moment in time she is praying to a god,  _ any  _ god, that Regina has a perfectly good explanation.  
  
When Emma arrives home, she’s confused as hell. She storms right into Regina’s home office without even bothering to knock first.    
  
She wants answers. She  _ needs _ answers.  
  
Regina looks up from the screen in front of her and smiles gently. “Oh, you’re back ear-”   
  
“Please, Regina. Please tell me you can explain this to me?” Emma pleads desperately as she places Ruby’s ring on the desk. Her voice is shaking.  
  
Regina takes a moment to look at the ring, “Miss Swan, if this is your attempt at a proposal, I kindly suggest you try again.”  
  
“It’s Ruby’s.”  
  
“Oh, okay,” taken aback by the harsh tone of Emma’s voice Regina falters. “Then why is it staring at me right now?”  
  
“Because, Regina,” Emma sighs, “I found it in  _ your  _ car.”  
  
“I’m sure Miss Lucas can wait until next Monday to get it back,” Regina says before turning her attention back to the screen in front of her. Clearly too busy to deal with her girlfriend’s antics.   
  
“That’s not my point,” Emma’s fists slam down onto the wooden desk. “I didn’t even know she was in your car until earlier when she told me you drove her home last night.”  
  
Regina leans back in her chair, her posture not showing an ounce of regret or remorse. In fact, she even feels a little attacked in her own home and this drives her to become defensive and dismissive.  
  
“Miss Swan, since when exactly is it a crime to make sure someone arrives home safely?”  
  
“Since it breaks rule number  _ fucking  _ one,” Emma says bluntly.   
  
This time it is Regina who hits her hands onto the desk as she rises out of her chair. “I did tell you. You had fallen asleep but I wasn’t going to let  _ our  _ friend pay for another cab so I offered to drive her home. I honestly fail to see what you are accusing me of here.”  
  
“You told me? Oh come off it Regina, it’s normal etiquette to make sure a person is actually conscious before you start talking to them, you know.”  
  
“May I ask why you were even with Ruby earlier, all by yourself? How is that any different than to what you’re having a go at me for. Which, by the way, is totally out of order since I’m just trying to do my job in peace.”  
  
This pisses Emma off, somehow in every argument they’ve had in the past Regina always manages to flip the situation so it suddenly feels like Emma is in the wrong.  
  
“Believe it or not, I was actually doing  _ my _ job too,” Emma mocks. “My target was in the coffeehouse where Ruby works, which is where she kindly informed me about her ring that  _ magically _ disappeared the other night.”  
  
Not wanting to argue, Regina sits back down in her chair and sighs, “she must’ve just lost it somehow.”  
  
“Yeah, no shit Sherlock,” Emma says agitated. “I wonder how, huh?”  
  
“What are you insinuating, Miss Swan? Do correct me if I’m mistaken but I recall you telling me that you  _ weren’t  _ a jealous person?   
  
“I’m not. But rules are rules and you should stick to them. They’re there for a reason.”  
  
“If you hadn’t fallen asleep for once, you would actually be aware of what’s going on.”  
  
“Oh, so now  _ I’m _ to blame? Seriously Regina, go take a long hike.”   
  
Having had the last word, Emma storms out of the office and into the bedroom, slamming multiple doors on her way.   
  
Regina feels her desk shudder thanks to the banging. Not the good kind, unfortunately. She tries to focus on the words displayed in front of her but has no luck. Adrenaline has truly kicked in and her mind won’t stop torturing her from vivid flashbacks to Emma ranting and raving at her.  
  
Emma is known to overreact at the best of times, so Regina tries to reassure herself that after some cooling down peace will be restored in the Mills-Swan household. With that in mind she continues to work until the early hours of the next morning. To be specific, it’s 1.27 am when she eventually strolls upstairs.   
  
Without even giving it a second thought Regina walks into their bedroom like any other night. Emma is curled up on her side, facing the window and her hands are clutching the duvet in her fists. Regina can’t help but think how adorable she looks.  
  
Regina is just about to walk into their ensuite for her lengthy skincare routine when Emma turns over, facing her. Regina stops in her tracks, hoping for a better conversation than earlier.  
  
“Sorry... I didn’t mean to wake-”  
  
“I wasn’t sleeping,” Emma interrupts.  
  
Regina makes a delicate ‘oh’ sound, staring down at her own bare feet.  
  
You should know that this awkward feeling of being shy is very alien to Regina. She feels very unsure of what to do and she hates it. Does she  _ apologize _ ? In her mind, she hasn’t done anything wrong because she  _ did  _ tell Emma.    
  
On the other side of the room in Emma’s mind, she is feeling very much the same. Should she say  _ sorry?  _ She is fully aware of the fact that she did enter the room all guns blazing and perhaps her emotions did get the better of her before actually hearing Regina out.  
  
Now, of course the best thing would be for both women to express their thoughts and sort things out before going to sleep but… what would be the fun in that? Instead, Regina just lets out a deep sigh and points at the door she just entered from, “if you would prefer me to… I can sleep in the guestroom.”   
  
As soon as the words escape her mouth she wishes she could take them back. Especially when Emma just gives her a blank expression for what seems like an eternity before mumbling a response. One that makes Regina’s blood boil.  
  
“Perhaps you can invite Ruby to join you there, since you enjoy her company so much.”  
  
The reason Emma lashes out again? It’s pretty simple really - she’s hurt. She just wants Regina to crawl into bed next to her with her cold ass feet and her loud breathing, which she never admits to -  _ that  _ would’ve made all okay. But no, Emma on top of everything else, is now upset by the mere suggestion that her girlfriend would sleep in the neighbouring room like some stranger. You see, the girls have never spent a night apart and neither of them  _ want  _ to but even so... Regina grabs her pillow from the bed and leaves. Emma counts the steps she hears down the hallway, and with each step further away another tear begins to roll down her cheek.  
  
Instead of a better conversation, matters have turned even more sour. And just like that, Storybrooke’s finest couple have had their first threesome related argument since their ménage à trois began.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Emma turns her alarm off on the first ring. You should know this is _very_ unusual for Emma, who usually only wakes up after hitting snooze _at least_ five times. But last night there was no catching flies, no limbs spread lifelessly across the bed; and definitely no drool on their expensive silk sheets. In fact, Emma barely slept at all.  
  
Although Regina was only down the hall, she might as well have been on the other side of the world. Emma isn’t needy or dependent on Regina, but she does hate an argument. She grew up in a very toxic environment so really struggles with hostility. I guess you wouldn’t have thought that yesterday though, when she came in the house all guns blazing and didn’t let it drop.  
  
Emma turns over and reaches out to Regina’s side of the bed and sighs. She pictures Regina laying there, the morning light bouncing off her perfect skin. Her plump, red lips open slightly as she sleeps, and her luscious hair falling gracefully against her neck. But Emma soon returns to reality, and the empty space only serves to reinforce her feelings of guilt and regret.   
  
So she sluggishly rises out of bed, disorientated by the lack of sleep. Emma pauses for a second and stretches, and when equilibrium returns she grabs a hoodie and pulls it on while walking downstairs. She opens the cupboard in the kitchen that’s reserved for coffee and reaches to the back, bypassing the regular beans they buy at Whole Foods. Instead, she grabs a brown paper bag which may look nondescript, but contains Regina’s favourite coffee. It’s super expensive and sourced directly from Brazil so Regina only brews them when she _really_ needs a good coffee. After what went down yesterday, Emma decides that today is one of those days.  
  
As the coffee is brewing Emma leans against the marble top counter and closes her eyes. She knows it wasn’t fair to ambush Regina and talk to her that way; of course she would never hook up with Ruby alone. She was being a nice person and giving Ruby a lift home late at night, that’s all. Emma suddenly feels a pang of guilt. She hates that she presumed the worst of her girlfriend. Her girlfriend who is nothing but loving, supportive and loyal. Emma opens her eyes and shakes her head, shaking away all of her doubts.  
  
Once the coffee is poured Emma heads to the guest room. After realising that she hasn’t heard a single sound from upstairs, Emma worries that Regina has already left for work. But thankfully, as Emma cautiously enters the room, she sees Regina laying in bed. The morning light bouncing off her skin, just as she imagined. Emma really wants to talk to Regina but knows it’s probably best not to wake her, so she sets the coffee down gently on the bedside table and turns to leave again, disappointed. Just as Emma is about to leave the room, she is interrupted. “Thank you, Emma,” Regina says softly.  
  
She stops and smiles to herself before turning back around. It was only a simple thank you, but to Emma it means a hell of a lot more. It means that Regina is willing to talk. Emma gets straight to the point. “Look, Regina. I’m sorry.”  
  
She walks over to the bed and takes a seat beside her girlfriend, placing her hand gently on Regina’s arm. “I’m sorry for how I stormed in shouting at you, rather than just talking to you calmly. It wasn’t fair to ambush you that way.”  
  
Regina takes a deep breath and for a second Emma worries that her apology is going to be totally rejected.  
  
“You’re right, you shouldn’t have.”  
  
Emma continues to hold her breath. Maybe she should have waited a bit longer for things to cool down.  
  
“But I’m sorry too.”  
  
She finally exhales, relief washing over her. She says nothing more just yet, giving Regina space to talk.  
  
“You’re right, I should have made sure you were awake properly. I won’t apologise for taking Ruby home, I don’t think she should have paid for another cab, but it was wrong not to tell you properly. It caused a lot of miscommunication and I own up to that.”  
  
“Thank you, Regina. That means a lot.”  
  
You see, dear reader. Regina Mills is no pushover. She doesn’t take lightly to being disrespected. She’s a CEO and you don’t get to that position if you let people walk all over you. Okay, Regina did start the company herself, but that’s not the point. The point is that she can be hostile when crossed and doesn’t forgive easily. But it’s different with Emma. For some reason, even after all these years, Emma makes her… _soft._ _  
__  
_“Can we agree to just talk properly in future? Proper communication is the key to success.”  
  
Emma holds her hand up to her head in salute - she can’t resist a bit of banter. “Yes, Miss CEO.”  
  
“I mean it, Emma. You can’t talk to me like that, it won’t solve anything. If you had come in calmly we would have talked it out in no time.”  
  
Emma looks down at the bed, disappointed in herself. Regina feels another emotion that is usually so alien to her - guilt. She reaches out and takes Emma’s hand in her own.  
  
“And I will make sure you’re conscious when I tell you something. Yes?”  
  
Emma nods in agreement.  
  
“So, tell me about work yesterday.”  
  
“Oh, god,” Emma groans. She crawls under the cover and snuggles up to Regina before recalling the events of the previous day. Ruby, Leroy, everything. And just like that, everything is back to normal in the Swan-Mills household.   
  


\---  
  


The next few days go by quickly. Regina is busy organising new deals at work and Emma goes all in on the Leroy case. There is no mention of Tuesday’s argument, but both women make an appreciated effort to show the other they’ve moved on and all is forgiven. So everything is good… for now.  
  
When Friday evening rolls around, Emma gets in from work and immediately crashes onto the couch. She would love nothing more than to stay here all night binging Netflix with Regina, moving only to retrieve their fast food delivery. But alas, Zelena has invited them to dinner and, although both Emma and Regina tried to find excuses, Zelena doesn’t accept no for an answer.  
  
“Emma!” Regina shouts from upstairs. “We have to leave in one hour, don’t be late.”  
  
“Yes, mom,” Emma replies sarcastically.  
  
But she doesn’t move for another 30 minutes. One thing about Miss Swan is that, although she always looks stunning, it takes her barely any time to get ready. She wears simple, natural looking makeup that takes all of five minutes to apply, and never spends more than two minutes choosing what to wear. Tonight it’s a pair of high waisted black jeans with a white button up shirt and her trusty red leather jacket. Once she’s ready she gives her hair a quick comb through then heads back downstairs, leaving Regina still applying her makeup.  
  
Emma jumps back on the couch and looks at the clock. There’s still 20 minutes until they have to leave. That’s plenty of time to have a good scroll through social media and maybe complete a few levels of Candy Crush. She reaches into her pocket and grabs her phone, ready for 20 minutes of mindless activity. But, ugh, of course her phone is dead. She forgot to plug it in to charge when she came in from work, so she walks into the kitchen and takes Regina’s phone off of the wireless charger on the counter, replacing it with her own.  
  
But there’s still 20 minutes to kill and she doesn’t fancy watching half an episode of something on Netflix. She hesitates for a second. There’s washing up that could be done… but that’s boring. Instead, she grabs Regina’s phone and heads to the living room. Emma installed Candy Crush on it a while back - much to Regina’s irritation - so she can play that while she waits.  
  
She sits down and taps the screen, bringing the phone to life. But, wait.  
  
Emma’s eyes are drawn to the first notification on the screen.  
  
What the fuck?  
  
She locks the phone and unlocks it again, hoping it’s all some trick of the mind. But it’s not.  
 **_  
_** **_Thought I would check in. Monday was really fun! Definitely better than usual. Looking forward to seeing you again next week and making more plans._ **  
  
Sender: Red.  
  
Red. That’s Ruby’s stage name - the name she goes by when she’s stripping.  
  
Ruby is texting Regina about how much fun she had on Monday. That ‘ _whatever they did’_ was better than usual, and that they’re meeting again to make more plans.  
  
Emma feels the room beginning to spin, like all the air has been sucked out of her. She throws Regina’s phone onto the other couch, as if it’s a bomb about to explode. If you remember, Emma Swan doesn’t usually jump to conclusions - she tries to believe that nothing is never as it seems. But first the ring, and now this text from Ruby. Emma can’t believe it. She feels sick.  
  
“Emma?” Regina’s voice startles her back to reality. “Emma, have you seen my phone, it was on charge?”  
  
Emma falters. She should say something, but after Monday’s trainwreck she needs to take a second to think.  
  
“Yeah...” she replies, shaking her head, not quite with it. “Sorry, it’s over there.”  
  
Regina looks at her phone on the couch, confused, but there’s no time to question it. She picks it up and heads towards the door, pulling on her coat.  
  
“Regina, wait,” Emma pleads.  
  
“No time, Em. Come on, we’re already late.”  
  
So Emma Swan does as she’s told. She follows her girlfriend to the car and keeps her mouth closed. She wants to confront Regina right away - ask her why Ruby is texting her and why she lied - but she knows that’s not a good idea. Emma doesn’t want a repeat of Monday so she decides to wait and find out more before jumping to conclusions again. Emma loves being right, but this time she hopes, more than anything, that she’s very, very wrong.   
  
Usually a night at Zelena’s fills the couple with dread and misery, not wanting to deal with her chaotic antics, but tonight it’s different. Emma is actually looking forward to some distraction from her own mind because her thoughts are spiralling all over the place. And Regina? Well, she is just happy to be able to stare at her gorgeous girlfriend tonight because she’s made an effort to dress up. Okay it’s only a shirt and jeans but the shirt is actually ironed, which is a sign of effort for Emma.   
  
The car journey is quiet. Emma doesn’t feel like talking to Regina before she knows more about the text and Regina is enjoying some quiet time. The calm before the storm, if you will. In fact, Regina feels like she has been hit by that very particular storm as soon as she and her partner are dragged into the house by Zelena.  
  
“Impeccable timing my lovey doveys. I’ve stuck a bird in the oven and it should be ready in about ten. Here, do take a seat!”  
  
If there is one thing you should know about Zelena’s dinner parties, it is that the food is usually pretty awful, but the amount of alcohol served always manages to cover up a multitude of sins. This includes Zelena’s hosting skills, with her screeching, fake overly-nice voice that resembles the sound of a baby bird. Nevertheless, Emma and Regina both take a seat at the table situated in the kitchen.  
  
“A bird? Isn’t it a bit too late for christmas dinner?” Emma asks as she takes her first sip of the white wine in front of her plate. She doesn’t really know what wine it is, but at this moment in time she couldn’t care less. At least it will relax her inner monologue.  
  
“Well yes, I know you lesbians prefer finger food and all but us Brits like to prepare a roast dinner every weekend, my love. It’s what we are best at, after all.”  
  
“Zelena, you only lived with your father in England until you were six years old, I hardly believe he taught you how to cook by that age,” Regina sighs, slightly annoyed.  
  
“I’ll have you know I watch the Great British Bake Off every week, thank you very much. If not for the remarkable apple crumbles, then for Paul Hollywood.”  
  
“Who’s that?” Emma asks innocently.  
  
Regina shakes her head, “trust me, you're way too much of a lesbian to be able to enjoy the sight of him.”   
  
“Anyway, daddy dearest did teach me one valuable lesson, actually. Children should never run with scissors and lesbians should never scissor with the runs, so that’s why I’m serving you a proper meal. You’ll thank me later. ”  
  
Emma cannot help but spit out her drink all over her blouse as she bursts out in laughter. Next to her, Regina simply burns a hole into the bottom of the glass.   
  
Everyone’s attention is on Emma’s white shirt which is now virtually see-through thanks to the alcohol spilt down it.   
  
“Oh my Emma darling, that is a lovely blouse. Is it new or did you just find it at the back of your closet?”  
  
Emma crinkles her brow, “uh...?”  
  
“Well, you would know all about that wouldn’t you.”  
  
Having had enough of the lesbian comments already, and with her blouse looking like shes leaking milk as a result of breast feeding a nine pound baby, Emma excuses herself from the table to clean up in the bathroom. Leaving the sisters by themselves.  
  
“We could’ve added a seat to the table tonight you know! The more the merrier,” Zelena smiles as she starts getting the turkey out of the oven. Clearly she has not forgotten about the incident in the hallway weeks ago.  
  
“We’re not-” Regina shakes her head, wanting to stick up for herself and her other half.  
  
“Oh little sis’, I know what I saw. Clearly my birthday present was reusable, Greta Thunberg would be proud. I’m not paying for all the extra sessions though, she already cost me a bloody fortune.”  
  
“We’re not paying her!” Regina snaps back, frustrated.  
  
“HA! I knew it. You cheeky buggers.”   
  
“Instead of over analyzing the ins and outs of my sex life, could you please be useful and give me some advice for once?”  
  
“I mean, it’s not like I haven’t helped you guys enough already but sure! Anything for my tiny winy sister. What is it you need? A foursome? An orgy? A Tracey Cox rabbit? Anything but a cucumber.”   
  
“Who the hell is _Tracey Cox?_ ” Regina sighs as she puts her head between her hands, “never mind, I don’t even want to know.”  
  
Zelena simply smirks as she places her lips on the brim of her wine glass before mumbling, “don’t knock it, before you try it sis.”  
  
“Anyway,” Regina tries her best to change the direction of this conversation as quickly as possible, “I need someone to get Emma out of the house next Saturday.”  
  
“I’m sure I know a guy,” Zelena winks. “What’re you planning?”  
  
“It’s coming up to our 6th anniversary and I want to decorate our garden with 2,190 roses. One for every day that we have been together. The only problem is I need to go pick them up myself as they don’t deliver on the weekend, so I’ll need to make sure Emma is somehow preoccupied.”   
  
“You are so sweet it makes me sick,” Zelena states. “But christ, that is a lot. How is there room for that in your car?”   
  
This may seem like an adorable innocent conversation about Regina planning a lovely surprise for her significant other but, little does she know, Emma is already surprised. She only heard the last part of that conversation but, as you can imagine, it’s sending her brain into yet another spiralling session. You see, Emma was doing her best to ignore the text message from Ruby earlier that night, but now she’s just walked in on her girlfriend and her sister openly discussing whatever happened in Regina’s car that night. Oh, if only someone could tell Emma the reality.   
  
“What’s that?” Emma asks as she makes her way back to the table.  
  
Regina’s eyes shoot up and believe you me, if there ever was a competition for the guiltiest look on someone's face it would be Regina Mills, hands down. Not for the reason that Emma believes, but because she so desperately wants to keep the surprise for Emma a secret.  
  
“Oh, nothing. We were just talking about-” Regina begins, only to be cut off by her big mouth sister.  
  
“Dildos and lesbian sex.”   
  
That _really_ isn’t helpful, Zelena.   
  
I’m sure you remember reading that Emma was actually looking forward to this dinner providing her with some distraction from her own mind. Well, walking in and hearing Regina and Zelena discussing ‘how there was room in the car for _that’_ is not the welcome distraction. In fact, it’s the complete opposite.  
  
And so, just like that, Emma Swan loses her appetite before having even touched her knife and fork. She considers asking Regina to step outside and asking her straight up about the text from Ruby, and what exactly happened in the car, but she decides against it. Not only would Regina be mortified to be shown up in front of her sister, but Emma realises she needs to take time to calm down before she can have a rational conversation.  
  
At the end of the meal Zelena and Regina’s plates are completely empty, while Emma’s looks the same as when Zelena placed it in front of her.  
  
“Sweetheart, was there something wrong with my food? I think you only took one bite. If I cared enough I might take offense at that.”  
  
Emma looks up and realises that she’s been staring down at her lap since she sat back at the table. “Just got a lot on my mind, sorry.”   
  
“Oh no, poor Emmakins. You’re not depressed, are you? Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It’s called Trycoxagain.”  
  
At this, both women are appalled. Zelena means no ill intent, but her lesbian-centric jokes are boarding on homophobic. Emma finally looks up, this time turning towards Regina with a look that screams ‘get me out of here, right now.’  
  
“Zelena, has anyone ever told you that jokes can be offensive?”  
  
“I’m ginger, what do you think? Lighten up sis’.”  
  
Regina rolls her eyes but stays silent. She knows there’s no rationalising with Zelena. 

  
  


\--- 

  
After having spent most of the evening wishing for this moment to come, Emma and Regina finally step back into the car and both take a big sigh as they exit the driveway. Even though Regina can now sit back and try to relax after one hell of an evening, for Emma the worst is yet to come. Should she confront Regina, or should she wait until she knows more facts and figures? Spoiler alert - she goes for the first option. Well, she tries to at least.  
  
“I apologize for my sister,” Regina tightens her grip on the steering wheel, “I’m well aware that her jokes just go too far and I’m sorry to make you have to sit through that for an entire night.”   
  
“Luckily for you I’m used to it by now,” Emma smiles gently before turning her head to look at her, “I feel sorry you have to deal with her as a sister. She’s a handful to say the least.”  
  
“Much like you, Miss Swan, I’ve also adapted to it during the years.”  
  
This is true, Regina has adapted to her older sister like butter adapts to heat. Regina isn’t soft for many people, except for the people she cares about. In this case, Emma Swan and Zelena Mills. Her heart seems to literally melt for them whether she likes it or not.  
  
“Oh I’m sure she didn’t used to be _that_ bad. No one has such evil banter as a kid, unless their satan's child I guess…”   
  
“You have met my mother, haven’t you?” Regina mocks.  
  
“Fair point,” Emma pauses, “but hey, at least you have a sister right? I’ve seen you two have great conversations as well so it can’t be all that bad.”  
  
“Rarely,” Regina replies.  
  
When there’s a silence Emma decides it’s now or never.  
  
“Speaking of, what _were_ you talking about tonight? It seemed… interesting.”  
  
“Zelena told you,” Regina says coldly as her face continues to concentrate on the icy roads outside.  
  
Even if she can’t see it out of the corner of her eye, Emma still gives her a deadpan look.  
  
“Oh yeah because you just _love_ to talk about dildos with your sister,” Emma says oozing with a bunch of sarcasm.   
  
When Regina simply doesn’t reply, Emma goes for attempt number two. Miss Swan doesn’t know how to give up, remember  
  
“Seriously though, a dildo that barely fits into your car? Sure.”  
  
“You heard that?” Regina almost slams her foot down on the break in shock, but does her best to remain cool.   
  
Of course, she doesn’t want the surprise to be ruined but, as you can imagine, in the passenger seat Emma is growing more and more suspicious with every word that comes out of her partner’s mouth.  
  
“Heard what? Something about a car and it being _huge_ is all I got from the hallway which is why I’m intrigued. Just tell me?” There’s a hint of annoyance in Emma’s voice.  
  
“Curiosity killed the cat. Has no one ever told you that, Miss Swan?”   
  
God, Emma cannot stand the mixed emotions that rush through her body when Regina calls her Miss Swan. In one way, she hates the formality of it but at the same time it makes her want to rip her dress off of her there and then.   
  
“Well, I don’t know why you’re being so coy about it but whatever,” Emma stares out the window, trying to control the anger rising inside of her as she looks at the town’s lights.  
  
After three minutes of silence, shit really hits the fan when Regina simply asks Emma to switch the radio onto a different station because she _despises_ indie rock music.   
  
“Only if you tell me what was talked about tonight.”   
  
“Jesus christ Emma, you’re acting like a dog with a bone. Just let it go already, it is none of your concern.”   
  
At this point Emma struggles to distinguish what’s worse - the fact that her future sister-in-law and her girlfriend were clearly discussing something behind her back, or the fact that Regina just compared her to a dog. Emma is a cat person after all.   
  
You see, Emma doesn’t like to jump to conclusions, and she is trying her hardest not to, but usually Regina shares every single detail with her. From a stab of her little toe to major problems at work, but all of a sudden she is keeping stuff from her. Wouldn’t anyone have trouble listening to their own torturing thoughts at this point? If only her and Regina could talk about it properly. But alas, communication clearly isn’t their strong suit and the journey home has proven just that. So as the couple arrives home and heads straight into bed, Emma decides tomorrow she will go searching for answers herself. If it ends up killing her like it does this ‘cat’ then so be it; the thoughts inside her head are enough to kill her painfully and slowly anyway. Regina being unfaithful would be a straight jab to the heart but at least it will be over quickly. None of this teasing shit that she’s currently having to deal with.  
  
Remember when the couple spent the night in separate bedrooms? Luckily that’s not the case tonight. But when Regina rolls over onto her side and eagerly waits for Emma to take her place as the big spoon, she’s left disappointed. Emma couldn’t be laying further away, and to make matters worse she’s taking most of the duvet with her. Regina isn’t sure which sucks the most - sleeping in bed down the hallway or having to lay next to Emma who is _clearly_ in a foul mood. Neither of them say a word, the only noise in the room being the clock ticking the minutes away.


	5. Chapter 5

As if having practically no duvet for the entire night wasn’t torture enough, Regina finds herself waking up in an empty bed. Great, now she can’t even blame the duvet thief. Feeling grumpy after having only been awake for one minute, Regina decides this morning calls for another one of her special Brazilian coffees. On her way downstairs she notices Emma’s crisp shirt - which she had kindly ironed for her yesterday afternoon - has been taken from the hanger above the door, and that’s how she knows she’s at work already. You see, Emma doesn’t wear shirts unless she absolutely has to.    
  
Meanwhile, Emma is making her way into The Rabbit Hole wearing said shirt. Inside, Ruby is receiving a lecture from her gran, though it doesn’t look like she’s taking any of it in.  
  
“I told you before Ruby, I’m not going to keep giving you a roof over your head if you continue to stroll in at 4am every morning. It’s ridiculous.”   
  
“Yes Granny, it won’t happen again. I promise,” Ruby lifts her shoulders and pouts her lips before blowing her a kiss.   
  
As Emma walks up to the bar, Ruby immediately spots her and walks over. Her bright smile turns to concern as she gets closer. “Wow, you look… rough. Big night?”   
  
Emma snorts, “you can say  _ that _ again.”    
  
Right now Emma wants nothing more than to pick a nearby coffee and throw it in Ruby’s face. Dramatic, maybe, but she deserves it - she did sleep with Emma’s girlfriend. Emma’s 80% sure of it anyway. But she does know that she needs to be 100% sure before she vocalises any more accusations, so if she hopes to get any honest answers from Ruby she needs to act as nice as pie.   
  
“Granny just made a fresh pie. Want a slice?”    
  
Oh the irony.    
  
“I’m good, but thanks.” Emma points at Granny who is sitting on a stool at the end of the bar, “everything okay between you two?”  
  
“Oh yeah, just the usual moaning. You know what it’s like, living at home.”  
  
Emma has no idea what it’s like to live with actual family members but she decides now is not the time for that conversation. She doesn’t want to lose her cool with Ruby, so it’s best to keep the small talk short. Instead, Emma nods and hands Ruby a picture.   
  
“This is our guy. We still haven’t found him yet but thanks to CCTV we’ve managed to create a pretty good image from some cameras in town. I just need more information on his car - mind if I take a quick look at your security cameras? It should give us the best view of the car park.”   
  
Accepting that business is business and Emma isn’t here for small talk, Ruby guides her through the staff room and into a small storage room that doubles as the security room. If things were different, Emma could take Ruby right here, right now. Maybe things would be even then. Emma shakes the thought away; two wrongs don’t make a right and Ruby certainly shouldn’t be used as a pawn in her relationship problems with Regina.    
  
“All yours, Miss Swan,” Ruby smiles as she opens the door and switches on the computers.    
  
She clicks a few buttons and pulls up the footage from Tuesday, when Leroy visited The Rabbit Hole. Emma takes a moment to glance at the images displayed in front of her and she presses the arrows to switch to the security footage from outside the building. She spots the car she is looking for right away. The HD quality is great and there’s a clear shot of the back and the front of it as it drives away. The license plate is clear: GRUMP3Y. She plugs in her USB stick and downloads everything she needs.   
  
“Great, thanks Ruby. You’re a true lifesaver. Can I look through some other days just to see if he drives by again? It might give us an idea of the direction of his location.”   
  
“Yeah, sure. Take all the time you need. I’ll just be out the front if you need me for anything,” Ruby says as she heads out the door. “Oh hey, you still haven’t found that ring by any chance, have you?”   
  
Emma sighs, she actually forgot about it for a second, but it doesn’t take long for the pit in her stomach to return. She dips her hand in her pocket and carefully hands the ring over to Ruby.  
  
“Now who is the live safer?!” Ruby squeals, “thank you  _ so _ much Emma. Where was it?”   
  
Emma could lie, but she decides to tell the truth. That way she can see how Ruby reacts. “It was in Regina’s car.”    
  
Emma stares at Ruby closely, waiting to assess any micromovement that might give away her guilt. But alas, there’s nothing.   
  
‘Maybe she’s just a good liar,’ Emma thinks.    
  
“Oh okay. Well thanks again, I am forever in your debt.”   
  
“You don’t have to worry about-,” Emma pauses. She could ask Ruby right now what happened in the car, but she has a better idea.    
  
“Actually, why don’t you come over tonight? I have some questions I’d like to ask and I’m sure you could be a big help to me.”   
  
Ah, there is it again. The classic miscommunication between the threesome-ing throuple. Since it’s not Monday, Ruby  _ assumes _ it will just be about Emma’s current case - she has no idea that Emma’s questions actually have nothing to do with bearded dwarfs. She also presumes it will be her, Emma  _ and _ Regina, and perhaps some alcohol.  
  
Naively Ruby replies, “yeah sure! I’ll come over at 4?”  
  
“Perfect.”   
  
What’s not so perfect is that Regina is working until 6 and so, technically, it will be Emma who is breaking rule number one this time.    
  
Emma spends a little time going through the security footage, though there’s no other sighting of Leroy or his car that week. Emma knows he must have been around before because they had a tip off, but since The Rabbit Hole’s CCTV footage automatically records over itself after a week, and isn’t stored in any kind of cloud, there’s not much more Emma can do here.    
  
She closes everything down and grabs her things, happy she could at least get the license plate of Leroy’s getaway car. She doesn’t stop to talk to Ruby on the way out, but gives her a quick nod and mouths ‘thank you’ in her direction. Ruby looks confused as to why Emma hasn’t said goodbye properly, but Emma doesn’t really care. Ruby will get all the answers she needs later, and hopefully Emma will too. 

\---

Emma spends the rest of the work day at the office. It turns out that GRUMP3Y was a fake license plate and was found dumped the same day Leroy had sped away from The Rabbit Hole, so Emma has hit another speed bump.   
  
Talking of speed bumps, Regina has texted twice, but Emma hasn’t replied. She knows it’s probably not nice to leave Regina hanging like that but she needs to find out the truth first. Eventually Regina calls, but Emma declines and switches her phone on to do not disturb. After all if Regina has cheated, as Emma strongly suspects, she doesn’t even deserve a text back let alone a phone call.   
  
On Emma’s way home she stops at McDonalds. Usually Regina doesn’t like her eating at that “cheap, greasy establishment,” but fuck it, right? The Big Mac and Strawberry milkshake go down just fine, and Emma doesn’t feel guilty about doing it behind Regina’s back. After all, Regina  _ loves _ doing things behind Emma’s back - or so she thinks.    
  
As Emma pulls into the driveway an Uber pulls up behind her and Ruby steps out. Normally Emma would stop and stare at her long legs, led by her toned calf muscles, and accentuated by her leather mini skirt - but not today. Instead, Emma turns and heads straight for the house, unlocking the door and waiting for her guest to follow. With her back turned, Emma doesn’t notice Ruby stop on the driveway, looking around and wondering why there’s only one car.    
  
As Ruby steps into the house she shrugs her coat off immediately and kicks her high heels to the side. Emma can’t help but laugh somewhat sarcastically - it’s clear Ruby is at home here. In the house,  _ and _ with Emma’s girlfriend. Ruby burrows her brow, not understanding what’s so funny. “Everything okay?”    
  
Emma laughs again as she walks into the kitchen. Ruby follows, even more confused than before. She peers into the living room as she passes the open door, looking for Regina. As she comes to a stop in the kitchen Emma is reaching into the liquor cabinet and pours out a double shot whiskey. She doesn’t offer Ruby one.    
  
“Is Regina running late..?” Ruby asks gently, trying to break the strange atmosphere currently consuming them. Once more Emma doesn’t reply. Ruby starts to get annoyed now - she has no idea why she’s being given the cold shoulder.    
  
Whereas Emma was able to keep cool this morning in the cafe, knowing that Ruby’s place of work wasn’t the right place to cause a scene, she doesn’t have as much control in her own house. In fact, she can’t help but wonder whether Regina and Ruby have also secretly had sex here, as well as the car. Emma shudders at the thought and downs her whiskey in one shot.    
  
“She doesn’t finish work until 6,” Emma finally explains bluntly.    
  
“Oh, okay. But what about the rules…?”    
  
“Like you care about the rules, Ruby,” Emma spits back.   
  
Poor little Red. She honestly doesn’t understand what’s happening right now. She’s never seen this side of Emma before and, if she’s truly honest, she doesn’t like it. The same must be said for Emma. She’s never been a jealous person but here she is, ready to receive confirmation that girlfriend is a cheater. Oh boy, this could go very, very wrong.    
  
Ruby takes a breath and steps towards Emma, trying to take the high road. “Please, Emma. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”    
  
“Rule 1, Ruby. Tell me what it is.”    
  
“Neither you or Regina can spend time alone with me.”    
  
“Correct.”    
  
There’s an awkward silence before Ruby decides to point out the obvious.    
  
“So then where’s Regina? I just presumed she would be here.”    
  
“Presumed.” If there is a moral to this story, dear reader, it’s to  _ never _ presume. (Especially if you’re presuming that your girlfriend has cheated on you with your third - that’s a situation we could all find ourselves in, right?)    
There’s more silence until Ruby realises what this could be about.    
  
“Oh, is this about the other day at the cafe? I’m sure Regina would understand - you were only there on a sting and you didn’t even know I worked there. Is she angry? I’ll talk to her and explain.”    
  
“No you won’t, Ruby. Depending on what you’re about to tell me, you might never talk to her again.”    
  
Didn’t Emma say she wasn’t going to jump to conclusions? She sounds very presumptuous right now…   
  
“I’m so confused, Emma.”    
  
“About what, Ruby? Because I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. Or are you confused about your feelings for  _ my  _ girlfriend?”   
  
Ruby takes a seat now and puts her head in her hands. She thought this was going to be a quick chat about Leroy and then maybe a bit of fun with Emma and Regina, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.    
  
“I don’t have feelings for Regina. What are you talking about, seriously?”    
  
Emma’s hands drop to her side and her face hardens.    
  
“What did you do in Regina’s car last Monday?”    
  
“Uh… Well we chatted a bit. Regina told me how you met, she really does love -”    
  
“Bullshit,” Emma cuts Ruby off. “Tell me the truth.”    
  
“I  _ am,  _ Emma. I have no idea what’s going on but I don’t appreciate you -”   
  
Emma cuts Ruby off for a second time. “You appreciated Regina though, right?”    
  
This time, Ruby doesn’t even give Emma an answer. She’s as lost as Alice was in wonderland.   
  
“Fine,” Emma snaps. “Let me spell this out. When Regina took you home on Monday, you hooked up in her car. That’s why your ring was in the passenger side door. I overheard her talking to Zelena about it. Didn’t have much room, did you? And to really twist the knife you texted her later saying what a great time you had!”    
  
Ruby’s mouth is hanging wide open. She doesn’t know what to say and has no idea where that just came from. It’s as though Emma just plucked the story out of her ass. Unfortunately, Emma takes the silence as an admission.    
  
“Wow. I really hoped I was wrong but  _ clearly _ silence speaks a thousand words. I can’t believe you, what the fu-”    
  
“Stop,” Ruby orders, cutting Emma off. “I have no idea where you got that story from, Emma. I swear that’s not what happened. As much as I like Regina, I’d never want to sleep with her without you there, even  _ if  _ that wasn’t a rule.”    
  
At first Emma isn’t sure whether to be offended that Ruby wouldn’t want to sleep with Regina, but then she remembers how angry she is. She doesn’t want to sleep with Regina right now, either.    
  
“I don’t believe you, it all adds up. Your ring was in the car because you always take it off when you finger us, and I  _ heard _ their conversation when I got back from the bathroom.”    
  
“The ring probably fell off when I was rubbing my hands to get warm. It was freezing on Monday. And as for the conversation, I have no idea what that was about but if you walked in half way through then it’s totally possible you misunderstood.”    
  
“I don’t think so. There are just too many ‘coincidences’ for it not to be the truth. And how do you explain the text you sent to her? It literally said from Red.”    
  
“I  _ don’t know, _ Emma. That sounds dodgy, yeah, but that wasn’t from me. I’ve never texted Regina separately, only in the group like we agreed on. If I had text saying I enjoyed Monday night it would be to the group because I  _ only _ had sex when it was the three of us. Seriously.”    
  
Emma scroffs then grabs the bottle of whiskey and pours herself another drink. Triple this time. Probably not the best idea since she really needs to be cognitive right now, but drinking her feelings away is what Emma Swan does best. She feels her eyes begin to prick with tears and coughs to clear her throat, not wanting to let herself seem weak in front of Ruby.    
  
“Have you asked Regina about this? I’m sure she’d explain.”   
  
“I asked her about your ring but she got defensive and we ended up arguing so I dropped it. When I saw the text I didn’t have time to talk to Regina but I told myself it was nothing, but when I heard her and Zelena that was the final nail in the coffin. But I realised I needed to talk to you first so she and I didn’t end up in a huge fight again.”    
  
“I get why it  _ could _ look that way...”    
  
Emma looks up quickly at Ruby, as if she’s just been proven right. Ruby soon follows up.    
  
“But it’s not, I swear. Regina  _ loves _ you Emma. So much. All she talked about in the car is how great you are.”    
  
Emma says nothing, she’s still not sure what to believe. She was supposed to get all the facts before she reacted, but her emotions took over. If jumping to conclusions was an olympic sport, Emma just won the gold.    
  
Growing up, Emma wasn’t used to being told she was loved, or being told she was great, so that pushes her over the edge. She can’t fight the tears anymore and she starts crying. Her tears are spiked with a mixture of hurt and betrayal, confusion and frustration.    
  
There’s something else you should know about Emma Swan. She’s not good at showing her emotions - it took a long time for her to begin opening up to Regina. So to be standing here in front of Ruby, totally vulnerable, is too much for Emma. She turns and makes a run for it, wanting nothing but to escape the hell she’s currently in.    
  
But Ruby isn’t having any of that. She doesn’t like her friends being upset and, above all else, she doesn’t want anyone believing lies about her. With the agile timing of a wolf, Ruby reaches out a hand and grabs Emma by the arm, spinning her around and stopping her from fleeing. She reaches her free arm and grabs Emma’s face, lifting it up to look her dead in the eyes.    
  
“Emma, I promise you on granny’s life. Nothing happened.”    
  
Emma swallows hard. She closes her eyes and nods slowly, finally accepting what Ruby is saying. “But the conversation, and the text...” she begins to whisper. She hangs her head, feeling defeated, causing their foreheads to touch. But before Ruby can even reply, they’re interrupted.    
  
“So  _ this _ is why you’ve been ignoring my texts and calls?”    
  
It’s Regina, home early from work. She walked in to see Emma and Ruby in what looked like an embrace, their faces together.    
  
“And why the fuck are you kissing my girlfriend?”    
  
“It’s  _ not  _ what it looks like,” Ruby protests, dropping her hands from Emma and taking a step back.    
  
Oh, no. Here we go again. 

  
“And what does it look like?” Regina glares at Emma as her hands form into fists.

“Regina this isn’t…” Emma shakes her head.  
  
“Isn’t what, Em-ma?” Regina now folds her arms over one another.   
  
“You know what, screw this. You can act as innocent as you want but I don’t buy that shit. I know what you’ve been up to.”  
  
Ruby and Regina both look at each other, confused.  
  
“Emma, I just told you,” Ruby begins, “Nothing happened between me and Regina. She drove me home, that is it.”  
  
Regina, finally realising what this is about, scoffs.  
  
“Seriously, we’ve been over this a thousand times. I should’ve woken you up when you were asleep but-”   
  
“Bullshit,” Emma interrupts, “what about the text message?”   
  
“What text message?”   
  
“From  _ Red. _ ‘Thought I would check in. Monday was really fun! Definitely better than usual. Looking forward to seeing you again next week and making more plans.’ Yeah because that  _ totally  _ doesn’t sound like a fucking affair.”  
  
Before Regina can find the words to answer, Ruby chips in once again.  
  
“I already told you that wasn’t from me.”  
  
The tables have clearly turned and now it’s Emma who is looking confused. I bet you are too, but thankfully the time has finally come to tell you the truth. 

  
  



End file.
